«Paolo is sorry that he was so quick-tempered»
Gianna Odermatt*, 46, from Kriens has four children with her husband: 12-year-old twins, a 14-year-old daughter and a 19-year-old son. She has been taking part in her school's family classroom with Paolo, 12, since June last year.
"Paolo had no problems at all in kindergarten and in his first two years at school. In the third year, he joined a new class in which several children had been displaying behavioural problems since kindergarten. When problems arose, the teacher sent them and Paolo to an adjoining room. Arguments and fights broke out there.
Over the next year and a half, our son's class teacher changed five times and none of them seemed to be up to the job. Paolo's grades slipped and he no longer wanted to go to school. He had lost his self-esteem and trust in his teachers. Paolo often came home frustrated, had tantrums and even suicidal thoughts - and I was his lightning rod.
When his current teacher took over the class together with a class assistant, he gave Paolo plenty of time. Nevertheless, our son didn't want to be helped at first, instead he insulted his teacher or ran away. I felt like a failure because my parenting methods weren't working. Seeing no other solution, I asked the teacher to admit us to the FKZ family classroom as an emergency measure in June 2021.
Paolo didn't want to at first, but then he fitted in very well with the group. When we were asked to playfully present ourselves in the FKZ, I described my son as angry, quick-tempered and listless. He, in turn, described me as irritable and angry. However, Paolo only became aware of the consequences of his behaviour when I drastically pointed out to him that without a good school-leaving certificate, he would lose his dream of an apprenticeship as an automotive mechatronics engineer and where his path could then lead him.
I described my son as angry, quick-tempered and listless. He saw me as irritable and angry.
Paolo has now learnt that he doesn't have to be ashamed if he doesn't understand something, but that he can ask the teachers. This gives him confidence. His teachers have also learnt something new: they now only discuss points of criticism with him one-on-one, which means he can accept them better. His school grades have also improved.
At the last parents' meeting, his teacher explained: «Now you're exactly where you need to be to be able to do the education you want.» We also have fewer problems at home now. Paolo is happy now and is sorry that he used to be so quick-tempered. He found it hard the way I shook him up, but at the same time he is also very grateful for it.
As a mother, I have learnt to talk to my son more at eye level. I try to respond to him even more and curb my southern temperament. When he is angry, I wait until he has calmed down and then talk to him. The family classroom has been a valuable support for us and I'm glad I took this step."
