Order is half the battle? Not with us
Admittedly: I am a person who has a slight tendency towards chaos. How many self-help guides have I not read on the subject of tidiness? From «The art of decluttering» to «Magic Cleaning - how tidying up properly can change your life». I've always wanted to be tidier. Some acquaintances predicted that children would automatically turn me into a person who would bring more order to my home. Did that happen?
Well, children are fun, entertaining and magical flatmates, but at the same time they promote entropy, this measure of the disorder that a system - in our case the home or the car - exhibits. Fighting against this is hard, very hard.
So I can't really say that I've become a master of cleanliness and tidiness thanks to my children. Rather than an expert, I feel like the god-despising Sisyphus who has to roll the stone up the hill again and again.
But who actually tells me that I have to get the floor wet at 9.30am on a Saturday when the sun is shining outside and the mountains are beckoning? The modern gods that usually intervene are probably our beliefs. Propositions that we assume to be true. Let's take a closer look at four of them:
1. «Order is half the battle»
Er, no. I don't remember anyone regretting not having spent half their life in order in those books where people regret things on their deathbeds.
2. «He who cleans, cleanses his soul»
I would also like to question this beautiful calendar saying. On the one hand, there are more pleasant things to do to nurture your soul, and on the other hand, the crucial thing about a soul is that it is not material in nature.
When I'm on my knees scraping out urine scale or picking hair out of the shower drain, I can't switch off.
4. «Cleanliness keeps you healthy»
That makes sense to me when I listen to scenes from the Middle Ages. As a former Jungwächtler, however, I am much more likely to adhere to the principle that a real Jungwächtler eats five kilos of dirt a year.
5. «You can switch off while cleaning»
Sorry, no. I can't switch off when I'm on my knees scraping out urine scale or picking hair out of the shower drain.
Yes, I have a serious suspicion that this original Swiss discipline is still characterised by such beliefs.
In addition to these approaches, which idealise the activity of cleaning, there is also the promise of the cleaning products industry that with the right means and tools, the effort will become less and less. This promise has actually been fulfilled in some places and I wouldn't want to be without our robot hoover. At the same time, the longing for a germ-free home without cleaning cloths can also lead to new unexplored cleaning areas being opened up again and again with even more expensive high-tech appliances.
The reason we haven't run aground as a family is probably because we're very good at dealing with mess.
Finding joy in futility
So let the Bionella dry on the plate and leave the house at 9 a.m. so that you can make it to the Kronberg by 12 noon. If I were to write a guide to cleaning, the title would be: «Mess it up! How you can lead a happier life with less tidiness», or perhaps something with even more impact: «Fuck housework! Life takes place beyond the toilet duck».
I would actually go so far as to say that the reason why we, as a family with four children and two working parents, have not yet run aground is solely due to the fact that we are both very good at dealing with a certain kind of mess. Incidentally, my wife likes cleaning even less than I do. Sometimes I'm amazed at how bad she is at it, even though she had to reach for the cleaning cloth much more often herself as a child.
I really don't want to spoil anyone's enjoyment of cleaning. Really. Perhaps Camus can mediate: The French philosopher saw poor Sisyphus as a happy man. And for one reason only. He is aware of the pointlessness of his activity.
So if we realise that cleaning is ultimately pointless, we can indulge in this pointless activity all the more joyfully.
