«No matter how shameful a topic is, the children can come up with anything»

Drugs, violence, bullying, conflicts between pupils, problems at home: school social worker Veronica Graber deals with these issues on a daily basis. You can see the most impressive statements here as a picture gallery, you can read the whole interview immediately afterwards:

Mrs Graber, what issues are you dealing with?

With everything to do with social problems and problems that pupils have both at school and at home. It's about drugs, violence, conflicts between children and young people, bullying, problems at home. In recent years, the topics of sex education and digital media have increased significantly, for example sexting, pornography and cyberbullying. We have also noticed a clear increase in psychological problems or cases in the areas of integration, migration and cultural differences. Bullying situations and the increased pressure to perform are omnipresent.

A broad field.

A very broad field. Here at my workplace in Rothrist, my two colleagues and I offer a counselling service for 15 school buildings. We also carry out prevention work, early detection, intervention and crisis intervention. This diversity requires us to work with a wide variety of stakeholders. On the one hand, there is the school environment with teachers, school management, remedial teachers, children and young people as well as their parents or guardians. On the other hand, there is the official environment with social workers, the KESB, the various psychological services, the specialist regional counselling centres, the police and so on.

They have many different roles.

That's right. Sometimes we school social workers are the mediators between home and school, sometimes we open doors, sometimes we are the advocates for the child, sometimes for the teacher, sometimes we do preventative work. And we try to adopt a neutral stance wherever possible.

What makes a good school social worker?

Experience in prevention work, systemic counselling, a high degree of flexibility and independence. I am also a board member of the School Social Work Association SSAV, which is committed to the professionalisation of school social work. It is important to us that you have a degree in social work, enjoy and have experience of working with children and young people and have a sound knowledge of dialogue techniques and methods.

How do mothers and fathers usually react to you?

This depends, for example, on whether they have met us in person at the parents' evening and know who we are or what we are responsible for. Many react quite openly and are happy for us to make contact. Others confuse us with other agencies such as the KESB or the school psychology service and fear that their child will be investigated or taken away. But that's not our job at all. It's always a good sign when parents contact us directly because they are worried or don't know what to do. We are also often asked to attend parent-teacher conferences, either by the parents or the children themselves or by the teachers. We then look at how we can provide support.

As a parent, when should I contact the school social worker at my child's school?

If you have the feeling that your child is becoming more and more withdrawn. If they frequently complain of symptoms such as stomach aches or headaches and have increased absences, if they play truant or don't dare to go to school. If they no longer talk to you about their worries and you don't know what to do.

Let's assume I discover pornographic images on my 13-year-old daughter's smartphone in the class chat and inform you as the responsible school social worker. How would you proceed?

I would discuss the next steps with you and the class teacher and announce my visit to the class. Either immediately with the police, if it is illegal pornographic material and they have been informed, or alone for the time being. The class knows me and my function from the introduction at the beginning of the school year. After welcoming them, I would ask the class: «Do you have any idea why I'm here?» and mention the keyword class chat as appropriate. Then I talk about the incident in general, without naming names, and try to raise awareness and impart knowledge so that it doesn't happen again. In every class chat, there are incidents such as cyberbullying or videos or images that are not okay. And it's important that young people know what it's about and how they should behave if something like this happens.

And the parents?

They are also informed and educated about what is permitted and when their child is committing an offence. As a mother, it is your duty to discuss this with your daughter, and the school management and I will ask you to do so by means of a letter to parents and an information brochure.

Let's say a pupil feels bullied by their classmates and confides in them.

In this case, I would first emphasise how great I think it is that he comes to me with his worries and then address the questions with him: How could we proceed now? What options do we have? And what are you prepared to do? After all, school social work is also a type of service for which we need the child's consent.

What are the possibilities?

For example, I could inform the teacher and ask them to take a closer look. Or ask them to give me additional information about how they have perceived the situation so far or what they have witnessed. I could also say to the pupil: «How about inviting the bully in for a chat to see where the problem lies? And what do you say we have a group discussion afterwards, to which you and the bully could each bring someone else?» In this way, conflicts can be clarified and agreements made on how things should work in future. Check-ups are arranged at regular but increasing intervals to check how things are going and whether everyone is sticking to the agreements made together. This is how I signal to the children: We're sticking to it. And I think the message is very important: no matter how embarrassing a topic is, you can come to me with anything!

This requires a good and trusting relationship with the pupils. How do you build this up?

By showing my presence. This starts at the beginning of the school year with visits to all new classes and their parents' evenings. At these evenings, we introduce ourselves and our work, explain what we are responsible for and how and where we can be contacted. We are also always present on the playground or in the teachers' rooms to make contact with the pupils and teachers and to be there for them. We also take part in informal events such as a sports day or a project week. I also regularly visit all classes as part of the cross-grade and cross-class prevention work and thus build up the relationship with those involved. In the event of an intervention, everyone already knows who Mrs Graber is and what she does.

And you don't pass on anything that a pupil confides in you?

I am bound by confidentiality and explain this to the children and parents at class presentations and parents' evenings at the start of the school year. At the same time, I explain the two exceptions in which I am obliged to break my duty of confidentiality. These are, on the one hand, endangering others and, on the other, endangering myself. I am obliged to do this to prevent worse and to protect myself. The older the pupils are, the better I can discuss this with them in a counselling situation: «Look, you're here today because your teacher has noticed that you're always tired in class and you're very withdrawn, you seem sad. What could be the reason for this? Has something changed recently? Look, maybe it's better if we tell your teacher and your parents the reason so that they can better categorise it or react more appropriately in certain situations.» Then the pupil realises that you are listening to them and want to help them, and they are more willing to open up to other people.

When do you need to refer a case to a specialist?

If I notice that a child is withdrawing more and more - including from me - and is not doing well. If I also hear from other sources, for example from classmates, that this child is expressing suicidal thoughts or is afraid at home, and negative observations are reported to me by teachers. The time just before the holidays or the weekend is particularly sensitive. You can't take any risks and simply send these serious cases into the weekend without knowing what will happen. I then inform the parents or phone an emergency psychiatrist, for example. Such decisions are made together with the school management and the teachers.

As a school social worker, you need a thick skin.

And a good sense of the right balance: despite all the openness and closeness to those seeking help or in casework, you have to learn to set boundaries. Nobody should answer their business mobile phone at two o'clock at night. It is also important to set clear priorities in hectic everyday life and with many case reports. But this instinct comes with experience. I switch my mobile phone to silent in the evening. Of course, in sensitive cases, if I'm really worried, I check the display again during the evening. In more serious cases, we work out with the children where they can get help at night and at the weekend, for example the police or the 147 helpline.

In your work, you are dependent on dialogue with school management and teachers.
teachers. What happens if a teacher doesn't want to work with the school social worker?

There are such cases. For many, it is also difficult to accept help and go to the school management or school social work to ask for support. For them, this often means that they can't cope with the situation on their own and need help. For a long time, I didn't realise how shameful this is, as I've always seen myself as part of a team in which each person has a different role. Teachers should be able to teach, I am there to deal with the personal problems behind them so that the children and young people are able to learn at all. That's why it's completely normal for me that people can come to me and tell me what the problem is. We then try to find a solution together.

How do you do that?

First and foremost, we try to help students to help themselves. For example, if there is a group that is constantly behaving problematically in class, the school social worker can take care of it and try to find out what is going on or what is needed. Either the pupils are then able to discuss this directly with the teacher, or the school social worker tries to mediate and find a compromise if necessary. Things usually go better if the reasons for the behaviour are known. The teacher then knows what is going on and can better understand and react to the pupil's behaviour - and vice versa.

But there are certainly also teachers who think: Look, here's a difficult case, now do it.

Yes, but it doesn't work like that. We work systemically and rely on regular input and feedback from the teachers: How was this week? Were there any incidents? What went well, what didn't? So that this can be reflected on with the child. We need to work together. If necessary, we give the teachers tips on how they can behave towards the child. And the sooner someone approaches us, the better. I always ask the teachers: be attentive and come to us if you notice something. You know the children and young people better than we do, you see them in class every day.

And what if pupils keep complaining about a teacher and you can understand this criticism?

I would listen to what the pupils have to say and I would try to give tips, point out the possible causes of the teacher's behaviour and what the children could do to improve the situation. Or to encourage them to tell the teacher themselves.

Then they say: «Mrs Graber, we've already tried that, but nothing changes!»

Then it depends on whether I have already heard this from different people and what my relationship with this teacher is like. If I know that they would accept feedback from me, I can draw their attention to things that I have noticed or that have been brought to my attention. For example, I could suggest a joint class lesson to the teacher, which I would moderate. This would get both sides talking. Or I could suggest that the person concerned contact the school management. I can't give a teacher any great tips on how they can organise their lessons better. That can be done by the school management or a mentor. I'm not a teacher, I'm a social worker.

Are you also noticing the consequences of the coronavirus pandemic in school social work?

Oh yes, of course. Although there have been some waves and a time lag, we have seen a clear increase in mental health problems such as depression and anxiety disorders, as well as cases of domestic violence and drug use. Things are currently very hectic in Rothrist, we have a lot of case reports and feel we are lagging behind with everything - but of course we are doing what we can.