More lightness for our children
I always understood the fear of flying much better than the desire for it. Flying in an aeroplane scared me, and when I dreamed of flying, I didn't float gently over hills, but was flung through the air. Although I was enthusiastic about climbing, unlike my climbing partners, I never warmed to the idea of floating down into the valley with a paraglider.
When climbing, you push yourself to your limits to avoid falling. Today I know that desire and fear are connected: Only when you overcome your fear do you become free and can let yourself go in whatever you do.
I realised this when we spent a few days in the mountains, my two teenagers, my partner and I: skiing, fondue, sauna, the whole nine yards. Patchwork families can be exhausting, as can holidays with teenagers, but this time everything was different.
As parents, we warn our children of dangers. But do you also teach them to let go, do you teach them to fly?
The weather was good, the atmosphere harmonious, the teenagers motivated and fun, the relationship with their partner intimate. The sunlight refracted in the snow crystals of the freshly laid powder, we whizzed down the slopes, a song in our ears: it feels like flying.
However, when you walk through a snow-covered forest, the snow crunching under your boots, your breath dancing in clouds in front of your mouth, the feeling of elation carries you like a stream of air. Just like as a child, when everyday worries and the weight of the earth didn't matter.
In the mountains, I never thought about the grey skies in the lowlands, the grumpy faces of commuters, the bad news about the state of the world, the misery and suffering of people, the pointless bickering on social media.
What flying feels like
And even the thought that I didn't deserve so much happiness couldn't settle in the weightlessness of the moment. Fully aware that I had been given this happiness undeservedly, I enjoyed it anyway. It feels like flying.
A snow-covered mountain forest is not always at hand, but there are many ways to fly. You fall in love, you forget yourself while dancing, you succeed at work, you hear a song that touches you: «I let myself fall and fall into you, love must be that easy.»
We should never forget that fear is there to be overcome.
And as I trudged through the snow, I thought about the fact that my children will soon be fledged, their arms outstretched and fluttering, unsure whether they can dare - my 17-year-old often talks about having her own flat. And even though it's bittersweet for me, I remember too well that feeling of flying off drunk on the feeling of my own freedom - with that bittersweet look back.
Of course, we humans are earth-heavy animals, the air is not our element, not even in the figurative sense. Flying is the exception. As parents, we warn our children of the many dangers and difficulties that await them.
But do you also teach them to let go, do you teach them lightness, do you teach them to fly? Even if they only succeed from time to time and only briefly: We should never forget that fear is there to be overcome. And to fly away.
