«I'm really scared of walking to school.»

«Ask Sarah!»

I'm really scared of walking to school because two girls from Year 6 always lie in wait for me. Sometimes they say nasty things to me, but often they don't say anything, they just stare at me, whisper to each other and then laugh really loudly. Then they run away. Once they threatened me, saying I should watch out for them or something would happen. I've already tried taking a detour, but it takes too long. I don't dare tell anyone. Otherwise they'll hurt me.
Dana, 10 

Dear Dana  

I can well imagine how stressful your journey to school is for you. You are always full of fear and tension. That's not how a journey to school should be! You don't say how long this has been going on, but it should definitely stop as soon as possible. What the two older girls are doing is not okay. Let's find a way to stop them.

The most important thing you should do now is tell your parents everything. The two girls will not find out. Or at least not right away. But it is absolutely necessary that adults help you change the situation.

It's not your fault! They chose you as their victim – and that cannot be allowed to continue.  

A form of bullying

What these two students are doing here is a form of bullying. They have probably been tormenting you for quite some time, using very strategic tactics. Their nastiness is directed at you over and over again. Without you having done anything wrong. It's not your fault! They have chosen you as their victim – and this cannot be allowed to continue.  

Together with your parents, you should consider who you want to confide in about this matter. Every school has a school social worker.This person is bound by confidentiality and is not allowed to disclose anything that you and your parents confide in them – unless you agree to it. But they are trained to find solutions to precisely these kinds of problems.

Get help

You can also tell your teacher and perhaps even the school management. Unfortunately, the journey to school is not directly the responsibility of the school. Nevertheless, your teacher, the school management or the school social worker will understand your problem and try to help you.  

If you are afraid that the two girls will torment you even more when they find out that you have talked about it, then you should consider the following:  

• They threatened you that something would happen if you told anyone. This shows that they themselves are very afraid that the bullying will come out and that they will face consequences.
• They are sixth-year pupils and they are picking on a younger child – that shows just how cowardly they are.
• Actually, they are the cowards and are using you to feel better about themselves.

Once you have spoken to your parents and informed the school, there will probably be a meeting with the two girls. They will then realise that their actions are now known. And that there will be consequences if they bully you again.    

Bullies will not stop until you really stop them.

Fight back!

The most important thing, dear Dana, is that you defend yourself! Don't let other people scare you like that. You may not know this yet, but bullies won't stop until someone really puts a stop to them. And for that, you need help from adults. And soon. You don't want to spend the next few years at school living in fear, do you?

I would be very happy for you if you manage to overcome your fears and stop these two perpetrators. Being able to defend yourself successfully is a very valuable experience and will stay with you for the rest of your life.    

And for the future, it would of course be nice if you didn't have to walk to school alone anymore. Are there other schoolchildren who take the same route as you? If you know them personally, try to join them. That way, you wouldn't be alone on the way anymore. Not only is it safer, it's also more fun.  

Good luck!