How do we protect our children from online abuse?

Around half of all young people have experienced sexual harassment on online channels. Youth and media researcher Daniel Süss from the Zurich University of Applied Sciences has identified the sharp increase in assaults in a new study and sees an urgent need for action: In a sensitive phase of personal development, sexual harassment and cyberbullying represent serious transgressions of boundaries, says the media psychologist.

This statement cannot be emphasised enough. A person's personal integrity must be preserved at all costs. Nothing justifies exposing and defaming others online. But how can we adults act and support young people?

Seeking dialogue instead of control

The most important thing at home is to stay in dialogue with your own children or young people. The situation at a shared meal, for example, is a good time to chat. Feel free to ask your children how things are going for them on social media. Or ask them whether they have experienced or witnessed hate speech, insults or even sexual harassment.

Under no circumstances should you check your child's mobile phone without their permission. It would be as if you were secretly reading his diary.

The moment has to be right, accusations don't help, asking questions costs nothing and open, direct dialogue is definitely the right way to go. Even if your child reacts irritably in the first phase, you should persevere and explain why you are worried. Under no circumstances should you check your child's mobile phone without their permission. It would be as if you were secretly reading his diary, which would be extremely detrimental to the relationship of trust. And rest assured: it will always come out.

It may also be helpful to contact a specialist centre if you are confronted with the problem or suspect that your child may be affected in some way, but find it difficult to get in touch with the child. Many municipalities and cantons or private organisations have specialist centres that offer free or low-cost help and advice. If you would like support, ask your child's school which counselling centre in your region can offer the best support.

What can you do if you find out from a mum or dad of one of your child's classmates that indecent images are being sent, for example? Or boys are demanding nude pictures from the girls in the class and putting them under pressure?

If you have the impression that the issue has affected an entire class or school, contact your child's class teacher with the relevant information. If necessary, they will work with the school management to find the right support for the specific case.

If we want our children and young people to grow up healthily, parents and teachers also need to exchange ideas and network. Parents' evenings are particularly suitable for an exchange in the classroom. Teachers are certainly willing to devote time to a specific topic if requested.

It is also best to contact your child's class teacher about this. Perhaps there are also parent education programmes in your local community, for example input events on topics such as violence and dealing with mobile phones. If not, perhaps you can get the ball rolling.

When the school has to intervene

Do you know what «happy slapping» is? This term describes an attack, usually by a group, on an individual. What is particularly humiliating is that the act is filmed and posted online. A few years ago, as a school headmaster, I had a conversation with the father of a pupil on a purely organisational topic as part of a local project.

After the conversation, he said that he didn't really know whether he should broach the subject, but that his son had recently been beaten by classmates with fists and a belt. I replied that it was important and right that he should tell me about it and that I could not tolerate it under any circumstances.

Parents can also question whether the school is doing enough and the right thing.

For me as a headteacher, this situation was uncharted territory and I didn't want to make any mistakes, either psychologically, pedagogically or legally. I informed the school's crisis intervention team. Within a few hours, I had psychological support from specialists with a wealth of experience in crisis situations.

We were able to confiscate the offenders' smartphones in consultation with their parents. In the subsequent discussions with the parents of both the perpetrators and the victim, the next steps were discussed. Fortunately, due to the rapid intervention, the material had not yet been posted online.

Together with the parents involved, we decided that the films on the mobile phones would be deleted. In the spirit of reconciliation and because nothing had gone online yet, the victim's parents decided not to take legal action, which turned out to be very helpful in retrospect.

A little later, we included the topic of bullying in our parent education programme. We were able to engage experts to give parents input in presentations. Discussion rounds were held immediately after the presentations.

Parents, teachers and school management took part in these discussions. The mutual exchange not only expanded the participants' ability to act, but also increased mutual understanding and the parents realised how much we care about the well-being of children and young people and that we are committed to this.

How can the school proceed?

Health promotion, sex education, support for self-discovery and media education have a firm place in lessons and have become increasingly important in recent years. Expertise in this area has grown in schools. Where this expertise is lacking within the teaching staff, external specialists are brought in.

Parents can also ask questions and scrutinise whether enough or the right things are being done. Ask about the preventative measures (e.g. special themed weeks or courses run by external providers) that the school has in its programme. Schools and teachers are just as dependent on networking with parents as the other way round.

It is pointless to argue about whether the school or the parents have an obligation here. Especially when it results in neither party taking the necessary steps. Digital media in particular means that leisure time and school are becoming increasingly intertwined and the educational aspects of dealing with this need to be tackled much more jointly. It doesn't help: schools have a responsibility. And parents have a responsibility.