How can my child become tolerant online?

Social networks can not only make a decisive contribution to tolerance, they should definitely do so. If you're wincing now, I can well understand that.

But anyone who equates social networks only with Facebook, Tiktok & Co. is falling for a fallacy. After all, we all live in social networks such as family, friends, classmates, colleagues, the sports club and much more.

Children and young people grow up in these social communities with their respective values. Although the beliefs they are taught may not always be correct, they certainly have a formative influence. For example, if children grow up in a liberal, conservative or otherwise ideologically coloured home, this has a major influence on their tolerance development in everyday life - and online.

The smartphone becomes a peephole that provides insights into other worlds beyond the home and circle of friends.

For a long time, tolerance seemed to be linked solely to the concept of patience. This is mainly due to the Latin origin of the word, «tolerare», meaning to endure. We parents are familiar with this form, for example when children run riot through the house until we put a stop to it.

However, this interpretation of tolerance is long outdated. Today, we understand the term to mean equality and encounters on an equal footing: two people can have different opinions and still respect the other.

Unesco goes one step further in its interpretation: «Tolerance is not synonymous with yielding, condescension or indulgence. Tolerance is above all an active attitude based on the recognition of the universal human rights and fundamental freedoms of others. (...) Education for tolerance is one of the most urgent educational goals.»

How the web broadens our horizons

Digital social networks offer children and young people a great opportunity in terms of tolerance. The smartphone becomes a digital peephole that provides insights into other worlds and social concepts beyond the home and circle of friends. Nowhere is the diversity of people more visible than in social media. This can be a real treasure.

Unfortunately, the internet is also the world's largest centre of intolerance. Insults and vulgarities are particularly common on social networks. Sooner or later, children and young people come across comments that offend them. It's the same for us adults.

Anyone who stands up to this can very quickly become a target themselves. This is not always easy to endure, especially when the boundaries of social norms are deliberately violated. And what is the point of tolerance education if the internet is happily spraying its racist, sexist and discriminatory poison?

It doesn't work without a moral compass

Although politicians are now making social network operators more accountable for taking action against xenophobia, anti-Semitism, glorification of violence and hate speech, this does not promise sufficient protection.

The internet and social networks are highly manipulative. They ensure that we move almost unnoticed in so-called filter bubbles.

Most networks are also officially accessible from the age of 13, an age at which girls and boys are in the midst of the choppy waters of puberty. Moreover, it is no secret that younger children are also active on them, as no one checks their details when they register.

So how are children supposed to tolerate all these negative influences - at an age when they can barely tolerate themselves? This is when tolerance education at home becomes more important than ever as a moral compass and preventative factor. Above all, we need to discuss a few important principles with children and young people so that they don't fall victim to unobjective arguments:

Away with the filter bubbles

These principles apply to both children and parents. But for us adults, there is another aspect to consider. This is because the internet and social networks are highly manipulative. They ensure that we move almost unnoticed in so-called filter bubbles.

This means that we are often only surrounded by topics and people on the internet that correspond to our beliefs. Most people feel comfortable with this because it confirms their views. A dissenting opinion is then quickly seen as an attack and sometimes met with a hostile reaction.

The only problem is that discourse falls by the wayside. At the same time, friction is indispensable when it comes to practising tolerance, indeed for democracy in general. Incidentally, tolerance on the internet can be practised quite well. For example, subscribe to newspapers with different political colours on Facebook, including tabloids.

Let's show our children how to critically examine prejudices before we turn them into judgements.

Honestly, it's really annoying. Some posts even make me blush, but as an adult I can put up with that quite well. Because that's what it's all about: putting up with other people's opinions.

Are social networks making us more tolerant? This may work for us adults - with a little goodwill. However, it doesn't work for children and young people. They still lack foresight and experience, they are not yet sufficiently solidified in their identity development. And unfortunately, we cannot make the Internet more tolerant.

But at least explain to our children how they can deal with intolerance. Let's show them how to critically examine prejudices before we turn them into judgements. We parents are not alone in this. Many schools emphasise justice, solidarity and tolerance in their principles: Tolerance. «Tolerance,» said the Italian writer Umberto Eco, «is something that is learnt, not innate.»