Heartbreak is not worth it, my darling
It all started just under six months ago. The son asked us if he could bring his girlfriend home. To spend the night. «Sure,» the father replied and patted his son appreciatively on the shoulders, while I tried to excuse my heavy cough with a flu-like infection. The boy was beaming, his pupils flashing in the shape of hearts. No doubt about it, the guy was head over heels in love.
Soon afterwards, the sweetheart was sitting wedged up on the sofa with our youngster. We tried to have a little casual conversation - in the brief moments when they weren't shoving their tongues down each other's throats. After this official part, the young couple disappeared into Sohnemann's room. And didn't come out into the sunlight again until the next afternoon.
The boy immediately read all his sweetheart's breakfast wishes from her pretty eyes: «Two eggs, my darling? Tea?» «Yes, my darling, with pleasure, my darling, right away, my darling». Darling there, darling here, darling everywhere! And in between we kissed and kissed and kissed.
The intimate kissing was only interrupted when the couple expressed a desire to have children - in a few years' time, of course.
Our future daughter-in-law was now with us almost every weekend. The intimate kissing was only interrupted when they both expressed a desire to have children - in a few years' time, of course. And I had aged exactly those years just because of the announcement.
Soon, however, the nagging started. We looked at each other questioningly, my husband and I. After three months of dating, we were still floating on purple clouds, weren't we? But then they kissed again and everything was fine.
And suddenly, bang, it was over!
Until it didn't work out and one day the son revealed to us that they had separated. It was extremely difficult for both of them because they loved each other so much! But everything would be much more complicated with each other and without each other everything would just hurt. It was as if a part of him was simply no longer there! Every time he saw her, it stabbed him in the heart and cut off his air.
If they spoke to each other, he would like to hug her, but every touch hurt deeply. Nevertheless, they tried again, wanted to start all over again, but after a week another big argument broke out, which only made things worse. And now it was over. Over for good. With lots of tears. Not just for the son.
We took him in our arms. Heartbreak is hard, terribly incisive, anyone who has been through this heartache never forgets it. A break-up hurts deeply, a loss makes you infinitely sad. «It's actually a small death, except that everyone is alive,» I tried to comfort him.
But all the well-meant advice is of no use at a time like this. The boy has to go through this emotional hell on his own. We can be there when he wants to talk, we can distract him, we can spoil him with something that makes him happy. We can share our experience of our own old heartache with him. We can be tolerant of his moods. We can give him a hug when he feels like it. And simply love him.
The earth keeps turning, one day he'll be over it. Then he'll probably say that there was something positive about them splitting up back then, because otherwise he would never have met his new girlfriend. Mia. Mia?!
