«Go kill yourself!»

I was insulted, humiliated and bullied. From Year 1 to Year 3, first on the playground, then on the internet. In the beginning, I thought I just wasn't that popular. Over time, I realised that it went far beyond that. I had no mates, was excluded and had to listen to stupid comments all the time. Later, I was also beaten.

At some point in year 5, Instagram and the first class chats appeared at our school. I once posted a holiday photo of my mum and me. «Go kill yourself,» I soon read underneath. And: «You're as ugly as your mum.» They repeatedly defaced photos of me, with genitals on my face, devil horns on my head, all sorts of things, and then posted them on their profiles. When I blocked them or reported their accounts, they created second or fake accounts.

When I informed my teachers about the latest incidents, they reacted by discussing the issue with the whole class. «I'll kill you if you do that again,» I was told by voicemail afterwards. Once, after my parents had sought contact with the school, the teacher came into the classroom and said: «Marco feels bullied. That's why the school psychologist is sitting here today and watching.»

It scared me that everyone in the apprenticeship was so nice. It was only with time that I was able to accept that people seemed to like me.

Of course, nobody did anything that day. What was bad, however, was that I looked like a liar afterwards. In general, my appointments with professionals always felt a bit like I had to justify myself. As if I was inviting people to mob me. «Just ignore it,» my parents said, not realising that this wasn't possible. Every time I wanted to leave the class chat, for example, they added me again.

I once went to the police. The bullies had printed out photos of me from my Instagram profile and hung them up in the classroom. They shot arrows at them and when I came in, they turned to me and acted as if they wanted to shoot at me too.

I blew a fuse. I ran through the village and arrived at the police station in tears. Only to be told that I had to sort out the problem with the teacher. I felt very alone then. I was on the verge of taking my own life three times. But somehow I managed to get through this terrible time and finished school. What I experienced afterwards was a culture shock. It scared me that everyone in the apprenticeship was so nice. It was only with time that I was able to accept that people seemed to like me.