Gender-sensitive parenting: an important task for parents

Mrs Butters, when and how does a child discover whether it is a boy or a girl?

Children understand early on that girls and boys, women and men or mothers and fathers differ - for example in their appearance. However, it takes much longer for them to recognise their own gender and understand that it no longer changes.

From around the age of three, gender-specific differences increase significantly. Gender roles are then increasingly stubbornly defended. Being a girl or a boy becomes more important to the child. The consolidation of gender identity then becomes a central developmental task at the age of four to six. At this age, the child becomes more aware of which gender it belongs to and that it will later become a man or a woman.

Have the stereotypical expectations of what girls and boys like to play changed as our society now talks more openly about gender diversity?

Research shows that these stereotypical expectations are still very strongly and unconsciously anchored in us. Whether we like it or not, we steer our perception and behaviour along the lines of the categories "male" and "female". It is therefore extremely important to consciously and self-critically deal with these expectations. Educational professionals and parents need to pay attention to how they perceive boys and girls and, if necessary, treat them differently.

You advocate more gender sensitivity in parenting. What does that mean and what should parents and professionals bear in mind?

A gender-sensitive attitude means not negating differences, but consciously perceiving them and critically examining one's own behaviour. This requires knowledge, reflection and dialogue. The aim of gender-sensitive education is to create a safe, fair and flexible space in which children can develop, try things out and flourish. An environment in which boys can dress up as princesses and girls can go on dragon hunts without being laughed at. Where all children - regardless of gender or other differences - receive the same attention and are supported and guided in their play, interests and abilities.