Different families, different mobile phone rules
Kindergarten means new friends, new influences and new experiences. For the parents too: reciprocal visits by the children become the norm, perhaps even including overnight stays. It's easy to say: «But he's allowed to do that!» For example, playing on a mobile phone or watching YouTube films on a tablet. The question arises as to what parents should do when their children are confronted with different principles and parenting methods than at home.
As always in parenting, a sense of proportion is needed here. You shouldn't completely throw your own principles overboard, but you should also be prepared to allow your children to have their own experiences. The 3-6-9-12 rules by psychoanalyst Serge Tisseron, adapted to the mobile phone age, are good guidelines for me. In concrete terms, this means for three to six-year-old children: Limit screen time, use media together and talk about what you've seen as a family. Also: no screen time during meals and before going to sleep.
Also accept other methods
If these rules are interpreted completely differently in the family of your child's boyfriend or girlfriend, it becomes a little more complicated for everyone involved. For me, banning visits in principle is only the very last step. However, it is much more interesting to find out how your own child reacts to the new rules. Enthusiastic? Irritated? Rejecting? Ask your child: Why is it like that? Even with Chindsgi children, such things can be discussed wonderfully. You might even learn something in the process! This doesn't mean that you have to change your parenting methods. But you may need to question them and explain them more clearly to your offspring.
If the relationship between the two children is recognisably important, it is advisable to contact the parents and discuss the use of mobile phones and tablets if necessary. Make your own position clear. However, in the interests of friendship, accept that other families have different rules, but that these are also okay. This is perhaps the most valuable lesson your child can learn from such a conflict.
On Medienstark you will find tips and interactive learning modules for the competent use of digital media in everyday family life. swisscom.ch/medienstark
