«Children want to have a say»

Mrs Unterweger, climate change, the war of aggression in Ukraine and the resulting energy crisis - the bad news never stops. What does this do to parents and their children?

Children, at least until they are teenagers, rarely actively search for the latest news and reports. However, depending on their relevance and media use, they may well find out about them. There is no escaping such socially pervasive events as the war against Ukraine, because it is not only the media that constantly reports on them, but also people in everyday life who make them a topic of discussion. Anyone who has relatives in Ukraine will be even more emotionally affected by the news. An ongoing event such as the climate crisis, on the other hand, can trigger justified fears about the future in many people, especially children.

To what extent should we keep children away from negative messages?

In some cases, this is not even possible, as these issues are omnipresent. From the perspective of childhood research, it can be said that children do have specific vulnerabilities, but that parents have to weigh up very carefully what they want to protect their children from by keeping them away. In many cases, adolescents do not want to be protected by being excluded from a discourse that also affects their lives. This was one of the findings of our study of children and their experiences during the coronavirus pandemic.

In what way?

Most adolescents want to have their say and describe their own perceptions and fears. That's why, in my view, mums and dads are the ones who are best placed to assess which specific topics their children want to be informed about and how much information they can cope with in each case. They should pay close attention to the needs of their children. Age plays a role here - a seven-year-old child will generally be more dependent on parental categorisation of media-based news than a twelve-year-old child or a teenager, who also communicates with their peers.

What topics should be discussed within the family?

In general, I am in favour of taking adolescents seriously as competent actors in dealing with difficult situations and not shielding them too much. Children - like us adults - want to be integrated and involved when they feel affected by an event, naturally to an extent that is manageable and bearable for them.

Topics that directly affect them should be discussed, taking into account their need for information, which can vary greatly. The rule of thumb here is that the more a child feels subjectively affected by an event, the greater their need for information. A child's inability to cope with information content can be recognised by the fact that he or she immediately turns away from a topic or shows a strong reaction after a delay. There are also children who accept difficult topics completely, become conspicuously silent and withdraw.

What is the right behaviour for parents in such situations?

As news should not be overwhelming, it seems important to me to choose media that are carefully edited and in which children also have their say. Depending on the situation, it can still make sense to listen to the programmes yourself or, if necessary, to search for content that is relevant to the family at the time.

Children are competent players in many areas and can manage many things without constant adult supervision.

Recommended programmes in Switzerland include «Zambo» and «SRF Kids News» on Swiss television or children's programmes on local stations such as Radio Lora. Whether you listen to or watch these together would mainly depend on whether the child wants to be accompanied or recognisably welcomes it. This is more likely to be the case with seven-year-olds than with teenagers.

These are special children's programmes. What about news programmes for adults?

If there are images in the news that frighten my child - such as pictures of rockets hitting the ground - I wouldn't watch them with them. Nowadays, you can also watch the news on your mobile phone or computer when the children are not in the room.

And what if a rather anxious child sees or hears uplifting news at a friend's house because the radio is always on?

If I realise that a topic such as reporting on a war is overwhelming my child and they are hearing or seeing information about it elsewhere, I would seek a conversation. That way I could find out whether it would be a relief for my daughter or son if I said something about it on their behalf. Of course, you are treading a fine line here if you, perhaps out of your own anxiety, tell your child that they are overwhelmed, even though they are perfectly capable of dealing with the information.

Why is that?

Children are deprived of the opportunity to strengthen their own ability to deal with difficult issues. Our current norms on childhood strongly emphasise the need to protect children - with good reason. However, childhood research also emphasises that children are competent actors in many areas and can cope with many things even without the constant supervision and processing of adults.

How can mothers and fathers deal with their children's feelings of powerlessness and fear?

Powerlessness and fear are existential feelings that we all have to deal with time and again. Openness is more effective than tabooing. Using the climate crisis as an example, we could address our own feelings of powerlessness as parents, but also try to actively look for solutions, both on a political and individual level.

Parents need to weigh up very carefully what they want to protect their child from by keeping them away.

In larger housing cooperatives, for example, there are often opportunities for children and young people to get involved, or you can request this. Municipalities and neighbourhoods often offer participation in initiatives such as gardening clubs, environmental detectives and much more. I remember that forest dieback was a big issue in the 1980s. At that time, the book «Environmental protection - what everyone can do» became a kind of bible for me as a teenager, which I consulted again and again. Today, you can find information like this on the internet, including from traditional environmental organisations.

What should parents avoid in any case?

Not taking children's perceptions and needs seriously. Unfortunately, this happens more quickly than you might think because adults are often very preoccupied with their own affairs. I see this in my own family: my younger daughter is very concerned about climate change, and even news about the current weather when it's too hot and too dry again makes her despair. If there are then situations in which I just say, more or less shrugging my shoulders, «Yes, it's a problem» and nothing more, this does little to support her in her feeling that we can develop the ability to act together.

What would help instead?

If we take a crisis like this as an opportunity to do a bit of research: What are the concrete options for action? What benefits the climate the most? Then we come up with answers. These can be inconvenient, such as restricting air travel. Others - such as reducing meat consumption or car journeys - have long been established practice for us as a family. Sometimes there are also fundraising campaigns and a children's group sells home-baked muffins in the neighbourhood for the protection of polar bears and earns a few francs. From an adult perspective, this has a more symbolic character, but it supports the children in their sense of «we are doing something».