«Bullying can lead to lifelong trauma»

Mrs Schläpfer, small arguments are part of everyday life in classrooms. How can a teacher recognise whether it is a normal conflict or bullying?

Bullying differs from normal conflicts primarily in its dynamics. While conflicts are often about who is right, who has more or who has something first - i.e. about circumstances, possessions, opinions - bullying is aimed at hurting a person. Initially, this can happen «quite harmlessly» through actions such as laughing at, mocking or teasing and then intensify very quickly - depending on whether you allow it to happen. At the centre of the bullying process is always the deliberate harming of a person.

What is the particular psychological burden of bullying?

Children who are bullied do not feel like they belong, but feel rejected and threatened, which can lead to trauma, social isolation and an impairment of their mental health. For example, the suicide rate among adults who were bullied in childhood is significantly higher than among those who were not.

Are there typical triggers or constellations for bullying situations? And can these be avoided preventively?

Bullying is a complex matter that cannot be attributed to a single trigger. And I emphasise again and again: the child concerned should never be seen as the trigger! Even if their behaviour is sometimes perceived as challenging or «different», which is often the case with active victims. Unfortunately, I often see this being argued. However, bullying is never justified.

As a rule, various factors are at play - such as the class constellation, early or late intervention by teachers and even cross-system elements such as conflicts between parents in the village. There is always a great deal that can be done to prevent bullying.

What advice would you give to parents of an affected child - seek direct contact with the parents of the children involved or ask the teacher to mediate?

My advice is: no direct contact with the parents of the children involved! This can complicate the situation considerably and make resolution at school much more difficult. I do not recommend asking the teacher for mediation, as mediation is normally used in conflicts. However, it is important to approach the teacher for help. Bullying is a group phenomenon and therefore the responsibility for solving the problem lies with the school. This also applies if the bullying takes place on the way to school. It is necessary to work with the whole class - because children who do not appear to be involved are also facilitators.