Are children more aggressive today than in the past?
Children between the ages of 6 and 17 come to me. Some come of their own accord, others are sent by their parents or teachers. It always has to happen with the children's consent, otherwise you won't achieve anything. I don't believe that children and young people are more aggressive today than they used to be. Perceptions are simply different and a lot of things spread more quickly thanks to the media.
If younger children behave aggressively, it is very often because they feel misunderstood. Some react very violently. I have a second-grader right now who comes to me regularly because he hits others. He didn't speak any German until he came to school. There are some linguistic misunderstandings. This physical aggression usually manifests itself in a slap here or a gingg there.
Children can learn a lot from Kämpflis!
Christian Zubinden, school social worker
Children often don't see the boundaries - but neither do the adults around them: even playful fights on the playground are often stopped. Children should learn from them: Where are the boundaries? Does the other person still find it funny? When is it time to stop? If adults intervene every time someone picks on them, children learn that violence gets them attention and they do it again and again.
When young people «end up» with me, it's very often about bullying. It's not my job to take the side of the victim, but to make sure that everyone involved is doing reasonably well. I try to resolve the whole thing without making accusations. In order to help the bullied child, I need the help of the victim, perpetrator, fellow travellers and confidants. The perpetrator doesn't have to be the focus, but you have to sensitise him and others and name what is happening so that you can change something.
Parents who become part of what is happening can no longer help the child.
Christian Zubinden, school social worker
At this point, I would like to make an appeal to parents of bullying victims: Be vigilant, listen to the children, take them seriously - but please don't intervene yourself! Get help from teachers, social or psychological services. Parents who become part of what is happening can no longer help the child, but only make things worse for their son or daughter. It is also important that the school makes a very clear statement: We do not accept this!
Girls come to school social work voluntarily more often than boys. The latter are often concerned with physical violence. The majority of girls in secondary school seek our help because of self-harm such as scratching. Self-harm is just as aggressive an act as violence against others. Or girls come to us because of suicidal thoughts. It is difficult to say why girls and boys express aggression so differently. I can imagine that it is largely learnt, i.e. that girls simply don't perceive any visible aggression from women in their environment and are therefore more likely to direct their own aggression towards themselves.
