3 exercises for dealing with worries in a relaxed way
As a mum or dad, do you often worry and have a tummy ache because of it? Here are three short exercises to help you.
Reflection exercise 1: Trust in life - antidote to fear
In order to counteract fear, we need a healthy optimism about life. A fundamental trust in life is part of our resilience, our ability to cope with adverse life situations. Being aware of our successes and positive experiences strengthens our confidence in life. This doesn't just mean the big successes in life, but also the very small things.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What good experiences have I already had?
- What am I proud of?
- What am I grateful for?
- What obstacles have I already overcome in my life?
- Where has something gone unexpectedly well in my life?
- Which coincidences have been good for me?
- What have I achieved?
- Who has supported me?
What helpers did I have? - Who was I able to help?
- What do I do well as a mum or dad?
- What strengths do my children have?
- Where can I trust them?
- What contribution have I made to them being great people?
The treasures from our successful biography help us to maintain a certain inner strength so that we don't fall over completely in the face of worries, but know: «I can do something about it».
counteract it."
Reflection exercise 2: Fear for the child
This reflection exercise is not about suppressing or blocking out fear. We can't do that at all. Rather, the exercise is an invitation to confront our own fears and deal with them.
Question 1: How strong is my fear for my child or children? Please create a scale ranging from 0 (no fear at all) to 100 (I am paralysed with fear). Please intuitively make a cross on the scale. (By the way, sometimes we are more afraid of one child than the other. This means that if you have two or more children, you can put a cross in a different place for each child).
Question 2: What feeds my fear? How do the numbers on the scale come about?
Question 3: What takes the pressure off me? In other words: Why haven't I reached 100 yet? What nourishes my positive feelings and my confidence?
Question 4: What is my conclusion?
Reflection exercise 3: Counteracting too much surveillance
Are you one of those parents who would prefer to control your child around the clock? Then we would like to suggest two ideas to help you stop.
- In a quiet moment, focus on your worries and possibly unspoken fears. Ask yourself where your great need for control comes from. You may remember experiences that made you feel insecure as a child and where you did not feel sufficiently protected. Question whether your own worries correspond to reality and are appropriate.
- The second suggestion relates to the present: take your attention away from your child and become «interesting for yourself again». Find a field of activity where you can use your skills - a voluntary position or a hobby. This may sound surprising in this context, but by being enthusiastic about something yourself, you will worry less about your child and give the relationship the distance it needs.
Source: These and other exercises can be found in the book «Nest warmth that gives wings. Giving support and freedom - how we educate without educating» by Stefanie Stahl, Julia Tomuschat
