«Young people can choose their own role models»
Mr Daum, during puberty, young people develop different priorities when choosing their role models than they did as children. What is the difference?
As children get older, their living environment expands and shifts more and more from the parental home to the context of school, teaching and leisure. As a small child, you are even more dependent on your parents. Due to the limited radius of movement, children in the first years of life cannot yet choose their own role models. Parents are therefore automatically role models. The older and more independent girls and boys become, the more they look to others for guidance. Teenagers are also more and more cognitively mature and mobile. They can act more in line with their own interests and choose their own role models.
With increasing age and a larger radius of activity, the role of friends and well-known personalities becomes more important. Youtubers are also often leading figures. What are adolescents looking for?
A central question in this phase of development is: «Who am I?» There are basically two phases in human development in which a lot changes in a very short time: During the first year of life, the child develops from a non-speaking and non-moving infant to a toddler who wants to discover the world independently on his or her own two feet. In puberty, at the beginning of adolescence, there is a further growth spurt. During this phase, the appearance of adolescents also changes substantially once again. They not only grow in size in a short space of time, but also in terms of their appearance - hair grows in places where there was none before, primary and secondary sexual organs enlarge. In addition, the pitch of boys' voices drops by about an octave.
These changes are accompanied by a certain amount of uncertainty.
Exactly. The child is now suddenly in the body of an adult. Peers and role models can be useful tools for dealing with this uncertainty during this phase. People are sought out who are similar in order to exchange ideas and compare themselves with them. Famous personalities can fulfil two functions here. On the one hand, they provide orientation, in the sense of: This is just how you present yourself if you want to be cool. On the other hand, they provide orientation in the sense of: This is the music my mates and friends are listening to right now. If I want to fit in, I should perhaps also listen to this music or like this actress.
You say that outward appearance becomes more important in order to present your own identity to the outside world. Why are outward appearances more important than «inner» values at this stage?
Outward appearances are not necessarily more important than inner values. However, they are more visible and therefore represent a clearly recognisable sign of belonging to a group. Shared interests, a similar taste in music, a similar style of dress and much more symbolise similarities both internally and externally. Incidentally, similarities are described in the literature as a central factor in the formation and maintenance of friendships. This presumably applies to all stages of life, but is particularly important in the second decade of life, when parents have less and less control over their children's social activities and young people have increasingly greater freedom in their choice of friends and activities.
What do you think of young people being «presented» with role models, for example in public campaigns? When Olympic champions campaign against non-violence or musicians against drug use - does that have an effect?
I am reminded of an observation I have made time and again at football stadiums. During a match, the officials of the home team sometimes try to motivate the fans to sing along to a particular song over the stadium loudspeakers. This process is not really popular, at least among the die-hard fans. As a fan or fan group, you want to decide for yourself on the basis of the course of the match whether and, if so, which song to sing. You don't want to be told that. Young people are comparable in their desire for autonomy and self-determination. An advertising campaign can strike a chord with young people, but it can also lead to defence and rejection.
Young people look for their role models - what role does authenticity play in this, including making their own imperfections visible?
From a scientific point of view, mistakes and imperfections show the potential that can still be achieved and indicate that nothing is set in stone. Potential that can still be achieved is motivating for personal development. This includes parents praising their children. Mothers and fathers should include the dynamic of changeability in the praise, for example: «You've improved this step sequence really well in dancing!», and not so much emphasise the static state, such as: «You're a great dancer!».
What makes the difference?
The former emphasises changeability more strongly. I had an interesting conversation about this with my 13-year-old daughter, who likes it when she sees live recordings of her favourite band and it happens that someone has forgotten the lyrics or they are sung incorrectly. My daughter described authenticity as a very important aspect. Finally, an anecdote from our conversation: I asked her, «Do you want to be like me?» - «No.» - «Why not?» - «Because I don't feel like it.» - «What would you like to be like?» - «Not normal.» - «What does «not normal» mean?» - «Like living on a boat and travelling and not working at a computer all day like my father in his home office!»
Read more about young people:
- Be a role model: Do I want to be like that?
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How a child develops depends on a complex interplay between its genetic make-up and environmental factors. Expert opinions differ on the extent of parental influence. - Remain a role model - even for teenagers
Parents can continue to exert influence when their child begins to orientate themselves towards others. - "Laughing together helps to overcome a lot"
Martina, 38, a long-term care specialist in geriatric psychiatry, and Martin Gerber, 40, an automotive diagnostician, live with their sons Timo, 13, and Leo, 11, in Sumiswald BE. They want to teach their children to stand up for their own opinions, but also to compromise. - "We exemplify respect and tolerance"
Marcelle Graf, 38, is an accountant and management assistant in a planning office. The father of her sons Ariseo, 11, and Nelio, 9, also lives in St. allen and is there for the children despite being separated. - "My personal happiness is the most important thing to my parents"
Julia Vincenz, 16, is training as a childcare specialist and lives in Zurich with her parents Martina Arpagaus and Curdin Vincenz, both 47, and her brother Florian, 14. She says that her mother has shown her how to always be herself. - Dossier: Being a role model
In their search for their own identity, children initially orientate themselves towards their parents - and then increasingly distance themselves from them. In this dossier, you can find out how mums and dads can succeed in being role models .