You can't wear that!

Mrs Albisser, if I had come to your fashion consultancy when I was 15, I would have worn wide, low-rise hip-hop trousers that exposed the waistband of my pants. In my case, the waistband would not have been labelled Calvin Klein, but Backstreet Boys. And a tight, belly top to go with it. Would you have talked me out of it?

No, not in principle. But I would probably have asked about your circle of friends and tried to find out whether you see yourself more as a hip-hopper or a girlie. What is your life situation? Which group would you like to belong to? I would have used that as a starting point to look for a look in which you really feel comfortable and happy.

But I looked impossible!

Yes, from today's perspective. Everyone knows the phenomenon of seeing photos from the past and saying to themselves: How could I? But we are moulded by what we see. That's why the looks from the catwalks take two to three years before we're really ready to wear them.

Why do teenagers come to you?

First and foremost, you will be sent by your parents - because they have the budget. For boys in particular, the motive is usually the first job interview. Especially if they have only ever worn casual clothes. With girls, parents are often worried that they are dressing too sexy, while other parents feel their children are insecure about their figure. Or that the children only want to wear branded clothes because they don't know what they like.

And where do you yourself see the biggest problems?

Out of insecurity, problem areas are often emphasised too much, if they exist at all. Above all, girls usually wear the wrong trouser cuts. They don't yet understand that you can't and don't have to follow every trend. No one can wear everything that is trendy. It depends on your figure and your personality. And the problem with girls in particular is that they exaggerate a lot when they go out: A lot of skin, a lot of make-up.

Is that so bad?

Not if the girls consciously choose these clothes. Many parents also come to me with exaggerated concerns and then I put the brakes on them. I then talk to the girls - without their parents - about what clothes communicate what. They are of course allowed to wear what they want. But I want them to ask themselves what they are expressing with their clothes.

Is the impression deceptive, or are most teenagers today dressed very similarly?

There is indeed a certain conformity. This is due to the many bloggers and influencers, who are basically just an extension of the fashion industry. With one important difference: in the past, we only had company adverts that had little to do with our lives. Nowadays, figures of the same age show you what you should wear. This has a completely different emotional quality.

Why do young people look for fashion role models?

Young people really are in a difficult situation: they are caught between the expectations of their parents and those of their friends and at the same time society expects them to be as authentic as possible. Even if they still lack the necessary self-confidence. It is of course helpful to be able to consult someone who knows and is also an outsider - in other words, someone who does not project their own fears and expectations onto the child.

What advice do you have for parents who want to help their children find their own style without consulting a coach?

Have a conversation in a quiet moment and ask really open questions. Why do you want to wear this? Where did this idea come from? What do you like about it? This way you will find out whether the child really likes wearing the clothes or whether there is pressure. Often it's not the teenagers who have a problem with their clothes, but the adults! Then, of course, self-reflection is required: Why do I have a problem with it? Encourage your child to wear the clothes they are really happy in and help them to understand how clothes communicate. Happiness should be paramount. If you feel comfortable, you can also impress at a job interview.

About the person:

Melanie Albisserhas been workingin the fashion world for over 30 years and advises adults and teenagers as a stylist and fashion consultant. In addition to individual counselling, she offers seminars for parents together with therapist and coach Sibylla Lustenberger, in which they learn how to guide teenagers to make their own conscious styling decisions.
www.melaniealbisser.ch