Wood the length of an eel!
I love discussing things with my sister. She is psychologically trained, favours me and yet is critical. That's why I like to turn to her when conflicts get me down. But as rational as she thinks, this one habit is irrational. Whenever we talk about things that are in order but could easily get out of kilter, she implores: «Holz aalänge, gäll!» Unfortunately, most things in life have a tendency to go out of kilter at some point, especially when children are involved. And that's why my sister says it quite often. The other day I was with her at our house by the lake. We were getting the garden ready for winter, raking the leaves and stacking firewood, and in the evening we cooked and chatted in front of the warm wood burner. I told her about the son of a mutual acquaintance who had always been very secretive and had been encouraged by his parents to open up more. Then he suddenly became interested in soft drugs, late nights and adventurous political ideas, not exactly what his parents had in mind, but he didn't care. He went on a confrontational course, began to isolate himself and turned up at home less and less often.
«You never know what's to come. And maybe it's you who is going through a second puberty because of your children»
His parents were worried about him finishing school, their relationship and his future. I told the sister. «It's bad enough what puberty does to children, but isn't it almost worse for the parents?» I asked. «Suddenly the child you've known all your life is a teenager who has fallen off the devil's back. What must that be like for parents who have never ridden with the devil themselves? Fortunately, we never fell out like that.» «Wood aalong,» said the sister and threw a log into the fire. «Besides, it's hard to see into families from the outside. We don't know who rode with which devils in this story.»
«I don't think it's the parents' fault,» I replied. «God knows I had my demons as a teenager too, and it certainly wasn't our parents' fault. Sometimes I think I was just very lucky that everything went well.» «Wood aalänge!» shouted the sister, throwing more wood on the fire. «You never know what's coming. And maybe it's you who's going through a second puberty because of your children,» she said with a mocking look at my trainers. «Although perhaps more fashionable.» «Wood aalong!» I shouted in panic and threw a whole pile of logs into the oven so that we started to sweat in front of the stove. Then I said: «Maybe it's best if we just stay here and log through the few years until everyone has gone through puberty. In any case, it seems to me the wisest thing to do is to just keep in touch with wood until it's all over.» She replied: «You're right. You never know how harsh the winter will be.»
About the author
Michèle Binswanger is a philosopher, journalist and author. She writes on social issues, is the mother of two children and lives in Basel. She writes regularly for the Swiss parents' magazine Fritz+Fränzi. Subscribe to our free newsletter now.