What should you do if your daughter is in love with her PE teacher?

Having a crush on a teacher is normal during puberty. But what if your daughter is actually in love and wants to meet her PE teacher in private? Our team of experts knows what to do.

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One question - three opinions

Our daughter, 13, has a crush on her PE teacher. She thinks he's really cute and has put up photos of him in her room. We suspect that she has fallen in love with him. Now she wants to go out for ice cream with him. What should we do?

Beatrice, 44, and Norbert, 44, Lausanne

What our team of experts says:


Stefanie Rietzler
When I was 14 years old, half our class fancied our physics teacher (he resembled Bruce Willis in his prime). One of my classmates even made a poster with a little heart and the words «Hübi, I want one of your children» and held it up in class. Parents need to stay calm in the knowledge that these crushes will pass. The teacher is unlikely to meet a pupil privately for ice cream - and if, contrary to expectations, he does want to, you as parents should seek a dialogue with him.
Peter Schneider
Oh dear! Wait and see and drink beer? Pretend to be relaxed? Something along those lines. In any case, you can't tear the photos down from the wall and forbid your daughter from having any crushes overnight. But perhaps you can discreetly point out that the infatuation you feel for your teacher at 13 is one of the first big disappointments you have to (and will) get over in your young life. Not in those exact words, but more like ... er ... well: kind of like that.
Nicole Althaus
This question can only be answered briefly and succinctly: There is no eating ice cream with the teacher! Not even if your daughter has wallpapered the whole room with photos, the teacher is the only topic of conversation that can lure her out of her early adolescent stubbornness, and every outfit, every smile, every positive emotion is entirely due to him. Gushing is totally fine, everything else is taboo. Your daughter needs to know that. However, the teacher must first ensure that this is adhered to.


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