What makes a child socially competent?

How do children develop social skills in a globalised world? It is important that they find a balance between autonomy and social inclusion.

Parents want their children to become socially competent adults. However, what they understand by this depends on the norms of their environment. In countries where independence and autonomy are important, parents are more likely to encourage children to think independently, make decisions and act autonomously. In countries where value is placed on social integration, parents tend to emphasise closeness to other people. These characteristics are not mutually exclusive, but they are expressed differently in the respective environment.

Empowerment of parents for a better understanding of parenting

As social beings, we are also dependent on relationships, which makes the development of general social skills a necessity. Parents also have a role model function in this respect. Some parenting guides recommend parenting models that neglect the influence of the family and the environment. Such guides with standardised goals can be superficial and prescribe rules that do not apply to everyone. The aim of empowering parents is for mothers and fathers to develop a better understanding of parenting that takes account of their customs. This is particularly important as many parenting guide authors come from the developed world, where the majority of studies on these topics are conducted, while the developing world (the so-called third world countries) is often ignored in research, even though this is where most children are born. Child development is shaped by parents' expectations and family habits even before birth. In large parts of the developed world and in affluent parts of the so-called third world countries, parents attach great importance to education.

They allow their children to take part in activities that take up a lot of free time. The intention behind this is to teach children to be independent so that they can cope better in a competitive environment. It can happen that parents place excessive value on independence and neglect the children's ability to build relationships.

Self-centredness harms social development

Of course, nobody wants their child to grow up without social relationships and isolated from other people. However, if values such as independence and autonomy are promoted too strongly, this can impair social development. If someone is extremely competitive and self-centred, this can be detrimental to the development of social skills.

Turkish scientist Çiğdem Kağitçibaşi has proposed a new synthesis as a development goal with a universal approach. She notes that the world is developing rapidly in the direction of modernisation and that this is leading to children with predominantly collectivist values and those in individualistic societies growing up differently, particularly in third world countries. In the course of globalisation, more and more people are moving from rural areas to urban centres in search of better opportunities. As a result, more and more people have to cope with the demands of a competitive society, both at school and at work, as well as in their interpersonal relationships. This requires a balance between autonomy and social integration, between the skills that promote interaction with peers and relatives and those that favour individual development - such as independent thinking, decision-making skills and independent action.

The future: globalised education

In a society that is moving more and more towards competition, a balance between autonomy and social inclusion would be optimal. This prevents collectivists from having difficulties acting independently and individualists from isolating themselves. This favours cognitive-social-emotional development. This is reflected in a more adapted form of individualism, as this balance takes both human needs into account. In this way, children develop in a healthier way: they can act independently and thus fulfil the urban, competition-oriented requirements more optimally, but at the same time also respond to their fellow human beings. Future research in the field of parenting skills and education must therefore focus on raising children who are adapted to the globalised world, taking into account their natural human needs.
Picture: Pexels

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr Rafael Carvalho is a postdoctoral researcher in the Social Interaction and Development Lab(www.desin.org) at the Department of Psychology of the University of Rio de Janeiro.

JACOBS FOUNDATION

As one of the world's leading charitable foundations, the Jacobs Foundation has been committed to promoting research in the field of child and youth development for 25 years. The Foundation aims to provide sustainable support for future generations by improving their development opportunities.