What does positive psychology have to do with coronavirus?
It looks like the coronavirus pandemic will be with us for quite some time. Perhaps we would do well to ally ourselves with the virus. We can do this by reflecting on long-forgotten deeds and gestures, consciously enjoying little things that were previously taken for granted. Particularly effective: reviving old rituals for security, praising and complimenting each other for self-esteem and agreeing on small goals for perspectives.
What this pandemic has in common is that this crisis, in all its forms, affects society as a whole. What is different is that the effects, intensity and consequences are being perceived and experienced very differently. Families are particularly affected. They are where all the threads come together. Children of all ages are coming home from all directions and talking about their experiences, which are often related to coronavirus at the moment. Parents are moving home with their jobs and are also facing new challenges. Grandparents who were able to accompany their grandchildren before corona and were of great benefit to parents are no longer available. If financial losses are added to this, the family structure is strained and put to the test many times over.
Families with a rucksack full of protective factors are more likely to be able to cope with the ongoing pandemic. Families with risk factors may find it difficult to cope with everyday life and react flexibly to new circumstances. As a result, moments of harmony, contentment and carefree behaviour have to give way to tension, stress, excessive demands and conflict. In these phases of overload, the family experiences itself as sluggish, immobile and failing.
This does not have to be the case. In positive psychology, a part of resilience therapy, the aspects of the so-called Happiness Circle are used for this purpose. These ideas help families to grow back together and utilise the resources and strengths of each individual. In this way, a positive basic feeling can return and make the crisis seem manageable. The practical exercises in the Happiness Circle can be carried out by parents as well as children and young people.
Enjoy the unique moments
There is a very simple way to create more space for positive feelings by trying to savour the beautiful things you experience every day. For this to succeed, it is crucial to be aware of the moment, to be mindful in the here and now. With young children in particular, you have a constant opportunity to do this. Young children are masters of savouring - if we let them. Adults find this more difficult. Concentrating on your own breathing can help you to centre yourself. If you drift off into stressful thoughts, it is helpful to describe a stone, shell or other natural object in detail until your thoughts have returned to the present. If you can savour beautiful moments, you will build up an emotional cushion that will support you when everyday life gets a little rougher.
Start the day on a positive note
The start of the morning as a family influences the rest of the day. As parents, you can ask yourself the question «What am I looking forward to today?» when you wake up and write the answers on cards and collect them in a large container. You can ask your children the same question. Collect all the answers and look together at the abundance and variety of wonderful experiences and needs. This morning ritual motivates children and parents to tackle the challenges of everyday life - with islands of happiness in mind. Thinking about this has a positive influence on the mindset.
Choose a positive perspective
During the challenging coronavirus period, children don't just come home with happy experiences. They want to and should therefore get rid of stressful things. As parents, it is not always easy to respond appropriately and empathise, especially if you sense that the stories are associated with fears and worries. In this case, tell your child to draw or write down the situation and only then report what is still in the room. Ask your son or daughter what was good about the day's events, what they are grateful for, where they would do the same again. This will help you to focus on what was positive and promising and not on what is missing.
Fall asleep with reconciling thoughts
«The three good things» is one of the most sustainable exercises for increasing well-being. When you put your child to bed at night, ask them what was particularly nice, funny or positive today, what made them happy. Be curious about the answers and start a conversation. This evening ritual will help you to understand your child better. Older children can write down or sketch «the three good things». As well as increasing your child's sense of well-being, this daily review will help them to sleep better, as you will end the day with a positive feeling.
Ensure secure relationships in uncertain times
In uncertain times, it is important that children can count on safe, reliable, committed partners. A child needs to experience a trusting relationship with their parents and feel unconditional love. Therefore, whenever possible, give your child time to play, chat, be silly, cook and bake together. In addition to caring for your child, it is also crucial that you give them responsibility and trust them to do something. While you as a parent are working from home and your child has finished their homework, they should do the dishes or prepare meals together. Let the children draw up a menu plan and shopping list. This encourages the children's self-efficacy, increases their self-confidence and enables personal growth. And for them as adults, relinquishing responsibility and control, letting go, is associated with more time for themselves.
Nature and exercise for inner balance
Nature is probably the greatest source of strength for well-being, balance and confidence. It is available to us almost everywhere, unconditionally and without limits. So whenever possible, go out into nature with your family. It doesn't matter whether you go into the forest with a goal in mind or simply want to admire the many facets and recharge your batteries. There's always something for the children to do. And try joining in with the play for once. It makes a huge qualitative difference to children whether parents are participating or watching. Spending time in nature has a positive effect on both physical and mental health.
Commitment with personal strengths
Happiness also means utilising what is already there. Instead of asking yourself which strengths you should develop, it is much more relaxed and more conducive to happiness if you concentrate on the ones you already have. Review these signature strengths in a conversation with the following questions: What am I good at and what do I particularly enjoy doing? What activity allows me to forget time and everything around me for a few moments? What strength can I recognise in my son at the current stage of development? Where does my daughter surprise me? Older children also like to talk about their role models. Take an interest in them and work out together what strengths they have.
Meaningfulness and goal achievement with Pippi Longstocking
The Pippi exercise can help you to find out where you actually feel you belong, which aspects give your life meaning. During your home office break, spontaneously write down what you would be doing right now if you could be Pippi. What do you miss and would love to catch up on? Is there a cause or project that you would take to the streets for? Do you have a heartfelt wish? Answers to these questions will help you blossom and you will realise the inner values that you are passing on to your children. Carry out the same Pippi exercise with your children. Use a poster and allow the children to courageously outgrow their ideas. Perhaps this can lead to a realisable, joint project that is particularly unifying and meaningful in these challenging times.
More information at www.praxisbeatricekuster.ch
Read more about corona:
- Dossier: Family life in corona times
The current situation surrounding the new coronavirus is unsettling many families. What are the latest findings on the role of children in the pandemic? What rituals help against cabin fever?