«We were overcautious and still got infected»

Series: Families and corona worldwide - Part 10

How are families abroad doing during the coronavirus pandemic? What do they want and how will they spend Christmas? We went on a search and asked some families in other countries. Here, Anna Dimitríjevics reports on the situation in Belgium.
Anna Dimitríjevics (39), works for the European Commission. Her husband Edward, 51, is a professor abroad and normally commutes between his university and Brussels every week during term time. They have two sons, William Benedict, 7, and Marcel Francis, 2.5 years old. The family lives in a house in Brussels with a small garden.

What is the current situation with the coronavirus in Belgium?

In Belgium, the coronavirus measures have been regularly adapted, sometimes very pedantically. For example, there is the situation in a certain street in the Brussels municipality of Etterbeek: whether or not a mask must be worn outside is determined, among other things, by the width of the pavement. As a result, masks must be worn on Rue Gray in front of number 2 and between numbers 1 and 17.

In general, however, the measures have been well received and supported by the local population. The rules are based on the recommendations of virologists and are still strict: we are allowed to have one external contact per household per month. Four people are allowed outside. There are no exceptions for Christmas or New Year's Eve.

What is the work situation like for you and your husband?

We are both currently working from home. My husband normally works at a university abroad, but is currently also teaching digitally. So the children have seen a lot more of him, which has been great for everyone.

In Belgium, it's common for both parents to return to work full-time when they have children. Babies can go to nursery from the age of three months and there are also childcare facilities after school or during the school holidays. When the crèches and schools closed in spring, it was a huge stress for many parents - including us. What's more, we both had even more work due to the crisis. We then alternated between childcare and work and both worked late in the evenings and at night. It was very exhausting and there was no time for us at all. If the sleep deficit wasn't too bad, we would read a good book at night, but that was it.

How are your children coping with the new situation? What specifically has changed for them?

Both children were completely at home from March to the end of May. William received homework from his teacher by email, which we then completed with him and emailed back. Schools have been fully open again since September. However, the holidays were extended due to corona.

The situation was depressing for William, he missed his friends a lot during the lockdown. Some of his friends met up every day, while we were more careful and only met up with other children once a week. He has realised that the others are growing closer together and he has felt included. He is happy that the schools are now open again and that he sees his friends so often!

For his birthday in autumn, we hesitated for a long time about what we wanted to do and ended up inviting his friends to an afternoon in the park. It was forecast to rain and we weren't sure whether all the children would have suitable clothing - the class is very mixed socially. Fortunately, it didn't rain after all and the party was a complete success.

How do you feel about the situation as a whole: has corona opened new doors for family life or rather caused additional stress?

William and Marcel both thought it was great to spend so much time with us. My husband and I also really enjoyed this new togetherness, even though we were sometimes totally exhausted from the combination of working from home and everyday family life. We bought an electric bike, which we used to go to the forest and parks once we were allowed to leave our neighbourhood. We planted various tomatoes and strawberries on our balcony and the children enjoyed harvesting them every day.
We normally have regular support from our parents, which has now completely disappeared. The children really missed their grandparents. And I feel guilty about how many films our boys have watched. But we couldn't have done it any other way.

Christmas is just around the corner: do you already know how you'll be celebrating?

We're celebrating Christmas among ourselves, we won't be travelling or inviting people round. We've bought a tree that we'll decorate on the 24th. We've also spent a lot of time looking for second-hand toys for the children with a reasonable ecological footprint. I've decided to cook a delicious Christmas dinner and will be making a gingerbread house with the children. I'm proud of myself - I really don't have much time or energy and I'm pleased that I've managed to create so much Christmas spirit at home.

William then wants to give a piano concert via Skype for the rest of the family. Actually, we would have liked to go on a slightly longer trip and that would basically be possible in terms of the conditions. However, this project far exceeds my current energy level.

How close is Corona? Have you been in quarantine yourself? What are your children doing at home?

We were very worried about what would happen if we got the virus. We don't have any family here in the neighbourhood and didn't know who could look after the children if we both got sick. We agreed with other parents that we would look after each other's children if someone had to be hospitalised. But I was still worried: how would that work - my children don't even fall asleep on their own, let alone with a "strange" family?
So we were overly cautious and ended up catching it after all. We suspect that Marcel brought the virus home from nursery, but we don't know for sure. The boys were not tested as they had no symptoms. However, as soon as children, including babies, have symptoms here, they are also tested. Fortunately, no one got seriously ill. We adults had symptoms and were very exhausted. We managed by taking turns with childcare and watching lots of Netflix.

What is your wish for 2021?

I have two wishes for 2021. For the children and their grandparents, I hope that they can kiss and hug each other again. My wish for the world is that it doesn't return to its pre-corona state. I think many people have reorganised their priorities this year. I hope that as many of these people as possible will continue to live more mindfully and leave a better ecological footprint. May this Covid year be the turning point for a better future for our children!
Read about the situation in China in part 11 of our series Families in everyday coronavirus life around the world. You can read all the family portraits published so far here: Families and Corona worldwide.

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