We say: «Time quotas for mobile phones help us»

Father Jens Kühne, 48, and his family blog while travelling. Twins Jael and Elea, 16, and Lia and Neel, 13, have smartphones and laptops. Moan, 10, occasionally has access to a device belonging to mum Michèle, 44. The family moves with the times, but the following applies to all children: media use is limited in time.

Michèle : Our family started using smartphones when we started secondary school, i.e. when we were around 12 or 13 years old. The difference between Jael and Elea and their younger siblings was huge: while the older ones often had their smartphones lying around unused, Lia and Neel have already taken them by storm. And Moan is already counting down the months until the time comes. We started working with time locks relatively quickly. The reason for this is obvious: try to keep track of five children so that everyone puts their mobile phones away from time to time.

Lia : Our smartphones stipulate that we can only use games or social media for a limited time. For Neel and me, that's currently one hour and 30 minutes. Our sisters are allowed longer. I'm fine with that. What annoys me is that all the apps we use to access the internet switch off in the evening. I like to listen to audio books on YouTube in bed - and then suddenly I can't do that any more.

Jael: Sometimes, of course, there are situations where you are on Instagram and go from one photo to another, always following the links and letting yourself drift. Then you watch a few funny videos and suddenly the warning comes: «You only have 5 minutes left for social media.» For the rest of the day! Or you're in the middle of a conversation on WhatsApp and then suddenly it says: «Time's up!»

This text comes from our major dossier on the topic of "Generation Smartphone" in issue 10/19. Find out more about the dossier in the cover film with Nik Niethammer and order the magazine here.

Michèle: If someone asks for more time, we rarely say no. We know the code and can switch it off. I don't have the feeling that our children are overdoing it with media. They don't use their mobile phones at school and they have football, hip-hop dance or basketball training two or three times a week. And they spend a lot of time outside with friends. Why shouldn't they be able to relax with media? But if the filters weren't there, they would certainly be on the devices all the time.

Elea: Yes, when our time quota is used up, the mobile phone becomes uninteresting. What am I supposed to do with it then?
Neel : When I start watching videos and scrolling through Instagram, my head often says after a few minutes: Better do something else.
Moan: Yes, because you want to save your time for games!
(Both laugh.)

Michèle: Yes, the games thing is indeed an issue - as it is for many boys. But I think it also depends on what they're playing. If they're playing the same game together and swapping ideas, it feels better than if everyone is just staring at their own device. And when they dance together in front of the game console on «Just Dance» and really work up a sweat - that's cool!
Lia : To be honest, I actually kind of like the time limit. I can ask if I need more time. But it's just a good reminder that you've been on your mobile phone for quite a long time.

More on the topic of media use:

  • Which filters and restrictions are useful for the first smartphone? How do you make smartphones childproof? Our suggestions for iOS and Android devices.
  • Mrs Willemse, how much smartphone is too much? There are hardly any generally applicable rules on media consumption, says media psychologist Isabel Willemse. In order for children to learn how to use their smartphones consciously, parents are doubly challenged ...
  • How much screen time is appropriate at what age? The expert Serge Tisseron has softened his well-known 3-6-9-12 rule . He now gives more general recommendations.
  • But what does his conscious use of smartphones and other media look like? And: How do we integrate the devices into our everyday family life without being dominated by them?