Typical boy, typical girl? 7 myths put to the test
Lena*, 14, and Lars, 12, live with their parents Andy and Brigitte Zimmermann in a suburb of Zurich. Lena is in second grade, Lars is in sixth grade. Until two years ago, they shared a children's room and always had access to all the toys. Lars never knew what to do with dolls. Neither did Lena. But she loved her pink tutu and Lars also wore princess dresses from time to time as a toddler.
Today, they both have the same hobbies: they play football and dance hip-hop. Dad Andy is self-employed in finance, mum Brigitte works in PR. They have shared the earning, housework and childcare from the outset.
Couples are increasingly opting for the egalitarian family model and modelling an equal relationship between men and women for their children, despite the fact that our society still has clear ideas about what is «typical boy» and «typical girl».
* The names of all family members have been changed by the editors.
Children come into contact with gender stereotypes right from the start
What is the truth behind these stereotypes? Where can differences be identified? And where do they come from? There have been countless studies on these questions - but there is still no conclusive answer. It is almost impossible to determine which differences are innate,as it is impossible to prevent babies and young children from coming into contact with stereotypical role models.
«We have no chance of finding out which differences in the brain are responsible for complex human behaviour,» says the Canadian-British psychologist, gender researcher and science writer Cordelia Fine.
We put seven myths to the test: What were the findings of studies and surveys? What do researchers say? We also asked experienced educators for their opinions - and asked the Zimmermann family what they think about gender differences.
Myth 1: Boys are the stronger sex
«At birth, females have a lower proportion of muscle and more fatty tissue than males,» explains Zurich paediatrician Madeleine Gartenmann Benz. Nevertheless, there are hardly any differences in sports motor skills in childhood, says Bernese sports scientist Achim Conzelmann. «Performance in athletics, for example, differs only insignificantly in childhood.»
This can also be observed on the football pitch. Lars may run faster than Lena, but the 14-year-old has the harder shot. Still. The gap widens with puberty: «In terms of speed, strength and endurance, adult men have a clear advantage over women on average,» says Achim Conzelmann.
But what about mental strength? «Basically, there is no difference. Girls and boys can develop ambition and focus in equal measure,» says Melanie Planzer-Mörth, President of the Swiss Mental Coaching Association. «But beliefs that children encounter at a very early age have a major influence. For example, that girls should be nice and boys should be tough.»
We encourage boys to move - and are then surprised when they can't sit still at school.
Girls are brought up to be the quieter sex, boys are encouraged to move around - «and then you wonder why they can't sit still at school,» says Melanie Planzer-Mörth. She is convinced that girls are no more able to concentrate than boys: «If there is an interest, concentration can be trained regardless of gender.»
Paediatrician Madeleine Gartenmann Benz says: « The female immune system is stronger than the male due to hormonal factors . Boys are more prone to complications at birth and infant mortality is higher.» However, girls' fast-acting immune system is not only to their advantage. They tend to develop more autoimmune diseases in childhood.
In adolescence, the socially determined gender-specific component becomes more apparent. Eating disorders, for example, are still much more common in girls than in boys: «This is due to the social demand that girls have to be beautiful and slim.»
CONCLUSION : The fact that boys are the stronger sex is only partially true. The fact is: boys have more muscle mass, girls have a stronger immune system.
Myth 2: Girls are more social, emotional and caring
The fact that boys have fewer feelings than girls is a myth and legend, says developmental psychologist Moritz Daum from the University of Zurich. If boys show them less, this behaviour is learned, says Daum. «The emotions are still there.»
Brigitte Zimmermann doesn't see her son as emotionless either. On the contrary: «I hardly know a more emotional child than Lars. If you look at him cross-eyed, he starts to cry. On the other hand, he can be really happy about little things.»
Fritz Schellenbaum, retired secondary school teacher and president of the secondary school section of the Zurich Teachers' Association, has observed that boys simply express their feelings differently to girls: «When they fight with each other, it's also an expression of emotions.»
While these differences are socially determined, Moritz Daum sees a biological influence in the area of play. «There are studies with chimpanzees in which young boys and girls were observed playing with sticks. The boys tended to use them as weapons, while the girls cradled them in their arms.» Daum believes that certain «gender-typical» characteristics such as caring develop from innate differences in interests: «Boys generally play more wildly. »
In addition, caring role play is encouraged more in girls. «A boy learns that his dad would rather fence with him than play with dolls.»
So is the female gender the more social one?
The results of a study by the University of Stavanger in Norway support this. The research from 2015 on social behaviour at kindergarten age showed thatgirls took part in games more often and interacted more with others.
This difference is also evident in the Zimmermanns' case: Lena already had lots of friends as a little girl, while Lars preferred to play alone until kindergarten age.
Barbara Schwarz, a kindergarten teacher in the Zurich Oberland for 20 years, also makes other observations: «I do notice that boys tend to play construction games and girls love role-playing games together. But if you encourage the boys to do something else, they like that too.»
CONCLUSION: On average, girls actually behave more emotionally and caringly. Where this comes from is controversial. One thing is certain: boys don't have fewer feelings, but they learn to suppress them more and act them out differently than girls.
Myth 3: Girls are gifted in languages, boys in maths
The 2015 Pisa study, which investigated gender differences in maths in various countries, speaks for itself: in Finland and South Korea, girls are significantly better at maths than boys. In Sweden and Greece, the ratio is more or less even. In Switzerland, on the other hand, girls are significantly worse.
Developmental psychologist Moritz Daum sees the cause of this imbalance in a combination of interests and experience: «Girls are often more interested in letters than in numbers.» This is also linked to the false but still widespread assumption that maths is more for men. This can lead to girls thinking that they are worse at maths, even though this is not the case.
This assumption is confirmed by a recent study by the German Institute for Economic Research, which foundthat girls from the 5th grade onwards think they are worse at maths than they actually are. Lena Zimmermann says that she had no problem with maths up to Year 5, but that her performance declined after that. Neither she nor her parents could say why.
Whether a child is interested in books or not, however, ultimately has more to do with the reading behaviour of the parents than with gender.
As far as reading is concerned, a survey conducted by the University of Bern among eighth-graders confirmed the common prejudice: 24 per cent of boys stated that they never read in their free time. The figure for girls was just under 10 per cent. Primary school teacher Daniel Rutz says: «For boys, competitive activities such as sport and games seem to carry more weight.»
However, whether a child is interested in books or not ultimately has more to do with the reading behaviour of the parents than with gender. Mum and dad are good role models when it comes to reading - but there are clear differences between their children: Brigitte describes herself as a bookworm, while Andy reads the newspaper for at least an hour every day. While her daughter Lena has read all the «Harry Potter» novels several times in German and English, her son Lars would never voluntarily pick up a book. And the only thing he finds worse than German lessons is French.
Conclusion: It is not true that boys are more gifted in maths and girls in languages. There are cultural reasons why girls in this country prefer languages and boys prefer maths.
Myth 4: Girls are more difficult during puberty
Lena hit puberty almost overnight a good three years ago. She was in a bad mood, often sad for no reason and extremely moody. Her brother Lars, who is two years younger, has been in a bad mood from time to time recently - otherwise there are no other signs of puberty. What is happening in the Zimmermann family is typical: puberty usually begins earlier in girls than in boys. While they enter puberty on average between
11 to 13 years of age, boys only reach puberty between 13 and 15.
It is unclear why this is the case. Experts suspect that the protein leptin is the cause, which is thought to be significantly involved in the onset of puberty. As it is found in fat cells and girls have more of it, the physical changes start earlier in them, according to the explanation. Developmental psychologist Moritz Daum suspects that the earlier onset of puberty is one reason why girls are considered «more difficult» in this phase: «Atthe age at which boys go through puberty, their self-control is already somewhat more developed and they may therefore be able to deal with the physical changes better than girls can at the age of 11 or 12.»
Madeleine Gartenmann Benz sees the reason in hormones. «During puberty, girls are confronted with an incredible cocktail of conflicting hormones, and the process is cyclical. In boys, the hormonal progression is continuous, without peaks and troughs, which is less drastic.» However, the paediatrician emphasises that character and personality as well as the social environment are more influential on behaviour than gender.
Ingrid Pizzini, socio-cultural animator and head of the open youth work in Zurich, says that she does not observe any gender-dependent behaviour in young people: «The issues that concern them are largely the same. The gradual separation from their parents is a key developmental task that can lead to discussions among boys and girls. In my work, I find that young people react very differently to this, regardless of gender.»
CONCLUSION: Girls reach puberty around two years earlier. The fact that it is more intense for them is only partially true. Puberty is a process that is very different for each individual - gender plays a subordinate role.
Myth 5: Boys are slower to develop than girls
The aforementioned study by the University of Stavanger came to the conclusion that almost two thirds of girls between 30 and 33 months can eat and drink on their own, compared to just under half of boys. 21 per cent of girls no longer wear nappies at this age, compared to a modest 8 per cent of boys.
Lena was dry at the age of two, Lars only shortly before starting nursery school. In her day-to-day work, kindergarten teacher Barbara Schwarz has also noticed «that girls develop faster in the course of their school years». Boys are also more likely to be put back a year when they start kindergarten or sent to kindergarten for a third year.
Retired teacher Fritz Schellenbaum emphasises that the difference in development between girls and boys at secondary school age can be up to two years. This is confirmed by a study by the German Federal Office for Family Affairs. According to the study, boys on average start school with poorer developmental prerequisites. This continues over the course of their school career: while 11 per cent of all girls repeat a grade, the figure for boys is 21 per cent.
CONCLUSION: It is true that boys develop more slowly. However, it should be borne in mind that these are also average figures and that there are major individual differences.
Myth 6: Girls are more hard-working than boys
Lena wants to make the transition to grammar school and is preparing intensively for the exam. Lars usually learns just enough to achieve a sufficient grade. The Zimmermann family's circumstances correspond to the observations made by primary school teacher Daniel Rutz: «I believe that the competitive leisure activities on offer have a greater influence on the boys than the girls. This can have an impact on the amount of time they spend working on their homework or on their commitment to completing it. However, I doubt that boys enjoy doing homework less than girls.»
Girls spend longer on homework than boys. Is that why they are more diligent?
In fact, the aforementioned survey on reading behaviour conducted by the University of Bern found that girls spend longer doing homework than boys: a quarter of girls spend between six and ten hours a week on homework, compared to a fifth of boys. 5 per cent of boys state that they do no homework at all, compared to 2 per cent of girls.
So are girls more diligent than boys? Moritz Daum poses the counter question: «What does hardworking mean? Isn't a boy who runs around the football pitch for hours on end also hard-working?»
Or someone like Lars, who a few years ago spent days sliding down the hill on his snowboard and running back up again until he was able to stay on the board? Sports scientist Achim Conzelmann states: «When it comes to sports training, it cannot be said per se that one gender is more hard-working than the other.»
Conclusion: On average, girls spend longer doing their homework than boys. Whether they are therefore more diligent is a matter of definition: in other areas, such as sporting activities, boys show at least as much commitment as girls.
Myth 7: Boys are braver and dare to do more
It is no longer the rule that boys do martial arts and girls dance ballet. «In sport, the differences are mainly to do with socialisation,» says sports scientist Achim Conzelmann. «The liberalisation of our society and of sport is increasingly blurring the boundaries.» Kindergarten teacher Barbara Schwarz has observed that boys are often wilder and louder than girls - but, according to Schwarz: «They are not braver.»
This is also the case with Zimmermanns: Lena is a «ramp sow» who doesn't shy away from solo singing performances or duels on the football pitch. «I hear the phrase «I can't do that» much more often from Lars than from Lena,» says their mum.
In puberty, however, there seems to be a shift: Various studies show that male teenagers tend to take more risks and, for example, are involved in accidents much more often than females. Former secondary school teacher Fritz Schellenbaum notes that boys tend to overestimate themselves more often when they reach puberty: «They accept setbacks more easily than girls. This often leads to girls becoming nervous before exams, even though they have learnt well, while boys rely on their luck above all.»
Conclusion: There are hardly any gender differences in children when it comes to courage and willingness to take risks. This changes during puberty - it remains to be seen what role hormonal processes play in this and what influence socially influenced images of masculinity have.
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More texts from the dossier on gender stereotypes:
- Genetics is almost the same for girls and boys, says gender researcher Christa Binswanger in an interview
- We tell the story: Sisters Inanna (16) and Lilli Louise (17) on childish boys and big emotions in girls
- I tell you: Matti (8) thinks: When something really hurts, even boys are allowed to cry. And he doesn't mind that the others make fun of his long hair.