The mobile phone blessing hangs askew

How should parents deal with the high mobile phone consumption of their almost grown-up children? Close their eyes? Or communicate the rules via WhatsApp? Our parenting blogger Irma Aregger provides insights into her everyday family life.

Our children were given smartphones when they moved up to secondary school. It's debatable whether that's early or late. Whatever the family decides, it's a struggle. Either the twelve-year-old child whines and bucks because he or she is the only child in the whole class, in the whole town, no - in the whole country, who still doesn't have a smartphone. Or the parents suffer because the eight-year-old child already has one and there are discussions and arguments day in, day out about how to use it and how to comply with the rules.

Mobile phone use in the evening: box thinking

In the beginning, we agreed on a mobile phone box. One in which the children were allowed to put their mobile phones in the evening. They had to. So that they could sleep without the screen flickering. But later came the WhatsApp phase. Immensely important, especially when it came to school. Of course. The pupil without WhatsApp was a complete loser! Had no idea what was being discussed in the class chat. That's why and only why the smart thing had to stay in the room a little longer. A firm hand was needed to prevent the children from «doing homework» until midnight.
Later, we appealed to their common sense when it came to mobile phone use. Decide for themselves what is good and right. Ha, ha. Little zombies sat at the breakfast table with red-rimmed eyes. The fact that they didn't smear butter on their iPhones was nothing short of a miracle. It worked for a while, then the battle started all over again.
The children are now 19 and 17 and they wake each other up on their mobile phones, make appointments, chat, watch films, listen to music, read and share photos. They sort out disagreements with their girlfriend, health problems with their friend's grandmother. Everything is typed in a flash or sent by voice message. They can no longer imagine life without a smartphone. It has grown on their hands. We parents haven't given up yet, we argue, discuss and hope.

Are we better than our kids?

But let's take a look around us. Everywhere we look, we see people bent over in the street, standing at the bus stop, pushing prams, sitting on the tram, eating in a restaurant. The daughter shrugs her shoulders: of course it's not nice, but that's the way it is today. In the past, people would stare at newspapers and not really communicate with each other. That's an argument. Although I like newspapers and books much more.

No mobile phones at the dining table

At the moment we have set up a restricted zone: Smartphones are not allowed at the dining table. Taboo. The same goes for newspapers. When we eat together, we want to talk to each other. Directly face to face.
That's when the grandparents call in for a Sunday visit. They don't like it when they see their grandchildren just staring at an electronic device with their heads down. «No mobile phones when Grandma and Grandpa are here!» I insistently tell my son and daughter. She rolls her eyes and I'm not sure if he's even heard me.
As soon as we sit down at the table, the device buzzes in my son's trouser pocket and buzzes under my daughter's thigh. They stoically ignore it. I sit down with my back straight and am quite proud of our kids. Grandpa pulls his smartphone out of his jacket: «Look at the photos from our holiday!»
By the way: Steve Jobs' children rarely held an Apple product in their hands, he allegedly strictly limited the time his children were allowed to spend with technology. And Bill Gates' children didn't have a mobile phone until they were 14. And watching television in the evenings was forbidden at Gates. Pretty smart!

Image: Pexels

About the author:

Irma Aregger arbeitet als freischaffende Texterin. Die humorvolle Zürcherin kämpft abwechslungsweise mit dem
Irma Aregger works as a freelance copywriter. The humorous Zurich native alternately struggles with her own hormonal balance or with her son's driving skills- she is rarely bored.

Read more from Irma Aregger:

  • «Chills mum!»: If you can't plan, you have to suffer. At the latest when your own menopause coincides with your children's puberty.
  • Army: Left, two, three - NO! First the little boy with the wooden rifle made the garden unsafe. Now the Swiss army is calling. The son wants to get a taste of military life - or does he?
  • Son at the wheel - monstrous? Just a moment ago he was sitting on the Bobby Car. And suddenly Junior is sitting in the front left of the car. If only that turns out well, says his mum.