The fear of missing out

Young people often put a lot of pressure on themselves when dealing with social media or computer games because they are afraid they might miss out on something. If parents understand and respect this urgency, they can help to minimise the stress.

I have to hurry ... children have to update their WhatsApp chat, post something on Facebook or Instagram or play the last round of Fortnite - «really now, this is very, very important». There's always something.
But dinner is already on the table, the room needs tidying and homework hasn't been done yet. So parents often say, exasperated: «Enough of this rubbish now.»

But is this always the right response to a child's request? It is not uncommon for the urgent request to be able to do this or that to be fuelled by the fear of missing out on something. Something that is particularly important or popular with friends at the moment. This phenomenon is known as FOMO for short, which means Fear Of Missing Out. In individual cases, this fear can even lead to pathological behaviour. According to studies, young people are particularly affected, the majority of whom are male.

Try to play the role of understanding your children's reality. Social media (Facebook, WhatsApp or Snapchat) are now a central part of their communication. We also don't like it when we are torn out of the middle of a discussion with friends. In real life, this is even considered downright rude. Young gamers feel the same way.

Mutual understanding arises from interest and communication

But respect must be mutual. And mutual understanding develops through mutual interest and communication. When a lovingly prepared meal is on the table, it should take higher priority than chatting on WhatsApp. You can expect teenagers in particular to understand this.

If parents also understand the content of what teenagers are doing, they can react more appropriately to a situation. The rest is planning: with the simple information «Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes», for example. And with the concession, as a parent, to give your children attention when they need it - even if you yourself have to «quickly check something on your mobile phone».
Picture: iStock

Michael In Albon ist Beauftragter Jugendmedienschutz und Experte Medienkompetenz von Swisscom.
Michael In Albon is a youth media protection officer and media literacy expert at Swisscom.

On Medienstark you will find tips and interactive learning modules for the competent use of digital media in everyday family life. swisscom.ch/medienstark