The family model is becoming more diverse

Dad or Daddy - it makes a difference to Max*. The boy grew up with two fathers, living alternately with them and his mother, who lives in the direct neighbourhood of the male couple. When it's Max's birthday, three sets of grandparents come to the party. Pupil Tobi has two mums. Cedric and Felix live with mum and dad, but they know that there are two other women in whose wombs they were allowed to live, who helped mum realise her wish to have children. Aline* was carried and born by her mum, but is not biologically related to her. The one-and-a-half-year-old comes from an embryo donation. Her family makes no secret of this, because what counts for them is not the genetic connection, but the connection of the hearts.

Every seventh child lives with only one parent

The stories of these children are not constructed, but taken from the lives of the families who tell their stories in this dossier. They show that our traditional concept of the family is becoming less and less true to reality. This is also borne out by the statistics, which show that one in five children in Switzerland grows up in a constellation other than the nuclear family, which consists of two biological parents and their offspring.

The number of alternative family models is increasing

It would be wrong to call for their demise, as 80 per cent of families with children in Germany still live according to this model. However, the number of alternative family models is increasing: single-parent families, for example, already account for 14 per cent of all households with children, while a further 6 per cent are patchwork families in which children live with a biological parent and a new partner. The official statistics do not include children growing up with foster parents - estimated to be around 13,000 - or those in rainbow families. Depending on the survey, up to 30,000 children in Switzerland have same-sex parents, the majority of whom live with lesbian couples.

What will the family of the future look like?

If our current concept of the family is outdated, what will the family look like in the future? Klaus Preisner, a sociologist at the University of Zurich, is among those who provide answers to this question. «Families are becoming more diverse,» he summarises. Preisner is co-author of the OECD study «Families to 2030», in which social researchers show what the reality of family life could look like in 20 years' time.

The traditional constellation of married couples with children is becoming rarer, the report concludes. In OECD countries, almost one in ten children now lives in a patchwork family, around one in seven lives with a single parent and one in fifteen grows up with grandparents. «Even more people than today will live in alternative forms to the nuclear family,» says Klaus Preisner, «partly as a result of a failed traditional family model, but also partly because it was the desired form from the outset.» According to the OECD study, single-parent families will account for 20 per cent of all Swiss households with children by 2030, and the number of patchwork and rainbow families will also continue to rise.

Individualised life plans and fewer children?

Furthermore, children no longer seem to be part of many future lifestyles. Today, 30 per cent of all Swiss households already consist of childless couples, and the OECD estimates that this figure will rise to around 40 per cent by 2030. Similarly, the proportion of single-person households will increase from the current 35 per cent to 40 per cent. According to these estimates, just 30 per cent of all households will still have children.
Individualisation and pluralisation are the buzzwords used by sociologists to describe our future. They apply to life plans that are based on personal preference rather than social pressure, but also to family forms that are more diverse than the mum-dad-child variety.

«Today, there are hardly any economic reasons in favour of a traditional family»

Sociologist Klaus Preisner

There are many reasons for this social change. According to sociologist Preisner, the emancipation of women, their striving for equal rights, their participation in political life and, above all, in the labour market are central. «In the past, people secured themselves socially by marrying, producing offspring and living together in a clear division of roles,» says Klaus Preisner. «Today, there are hardly any economic reasons that speak in favour of a traditional family.»

In addition, the permeability between social classes has increased, and prestige is no longer linked to the family, but to individual achievements. According to Bern-based social researcher Kathrin Zehnder, other emancipation movements, such as those of gays, lesbians and trans people who fought for the right to an official relationship status or a family, also have a part to play in the increasingly diverse forms of life and family. «Digitalisation and increasing mobility also play a role,» Zehnder is convinced, «we can be anywhere at any time, which not only opens up new needs, but also completely different ways of forming relationships.»

Starting a family in the lab?

Humans are fighting to free themselves from social constraints - but also from some that nature has imposed on them. This is symbolised by medical progress, including modern reproductive medicine. «It can be seen,» writes sociologist Heike Trappe in a specialist article, «as an expression of a deeply human endeavour to emancipate ourselves from nature.»
Misa Yamanaka-Altenstein from the Klaus Grawe Institute in Zurich emphasises that it is difficult to cope when nature puts a stop to the desire to have children. The psychotherapist counsels women and couples who are unintentionally childless. «From an evolutionary biology perspective, the ability to reproduce can be described as a basic need,» says Yamanaka-Altenstein. "If a person wants to reproduce but is unable to do so, this often has serious consequences - for their self-esteem, their relationship and their mental health."
Regula Körner, who fulfilled her desire to have children with the help of a surrogate mother after 17 years of waiting in vain for a pregnancy, puts it like this: «It hurts when people say that you just have to accept that you can't have children. Why don't people who no longer have a functioning kidney simply accept dialysis? Or cancer patients their fate? Exactly.»

Repeated unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant can trigger similar feelings to the loss of a loved one.

For many, this is an absurd comparison - Yamanaka-Altenstein understands this: «The suffering of those affected is difficult for outsiders to comprehend. Studies show that repeated unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant can trigger similar feelings to the loss of a loved one.»

Procreation in a test tube - how does it happen?

Around 6000 women undergo artificial insemination in one of Switzerland's 26 fertility clinics every year. This figure does not include the number of women who undergo treatment abroad. 2.5 per cent of newborns who see the light of day in this country are conceived in a test tube.
In vitro fertilisation (IVF) or artificial insemination is one of the most common reproductive medical treatments, with the OVA IVF fertility clinic in Zurich carrying out more than 600 cycles a year. Couples who visit the clinic for the first time are usually around 38 years old and vary greatly in terms of their social status, says Daniela Pfammatter, the gynaecologist treating them: «They range from ordinary employees to top managers.»

«The desire to have children is rarely given up voluntarily»

Daniela Pfammatter, gynaecologist

If an odyssey through the medical options becomes apparent because treatments such as hormonal stimulation or insemination have no effect, only the well-heeled remain on board: artificial insemination costs up to CHF 9,000 per cycle, and often at least three treatments are necessary. «The desire to have children is rarely given up voluntarily,» says Daniela Pfammatter, «and there is often disagreement between a couple about how far they want to go down this path.» The law takes the decision away from some couples: If the woman does not produce any healthy eggs, for example, artificial insemination is pointless, leaving egg donation. However, unlike sperm donation, this is prohibited in Switzerland.

Reproductive medicine - a curse or a blessing?

For those affected, reproductive medicine is both a curse and a blessing. «It makes childlessness even more of a taboo,» says Yamanaka-Altenstein, «because it suggests that anything is possible thanks to medical advances. Where possibilities open up, the pressure to utilise them to the full increases. The feeling of personal failure is all the worse when even that doesn't help.»
The knowledge of the possibilities of modern medicine also contributes to young women increasingly postponing their desire to have children, says doctor Pfammatter: "From the age of 25, female fertility declines continuously, and rapidly from the age of 35. Women are too little aware of this."

It is not only heterosexual couples who are pinning their hopes on reproductive medicine. Individuals and same-sex couples cannot expect any help in Switzerland, however, as treatments for medically assisted reproduction are only permitted for heterosexual couples in this country. Women who want to fulfil their desire to have children as a same-sex couple or on their own have it much easier than men: they inject themselves with sperm from donors they find on internet forums or in their private lives, or go to a sperm bank abroad.
Gay men have the option of starting a family with a co-mother. If a male couple wants to raise a child without a third person, surrogacy abroad is the only option. More and more heterosexual couples and single women who undergo treatments that are prohibited in Switzerland are also taking this route. These include Regula Körner, mother of two surrogate children, and Aline's mother Kerstin, who had another woman's embryo implanted in Spain.

Has natural conception had its day?

Critics raise ethical concerns in connection with reproductive medicine, fearing that it paves the way for an industrialised approach to life or for the selection of people. But society's scepticism also reflects the attitude of medicine, believes psychotherapist Yamanaka-Altenstein, «because medicine is primarily committed to preserving life". The question of the extent to which it is allowed to bring about or actively end life - keyword euthanasia - remains a controversial issue. "Everything in between,» says the psychologist, «is less controversial.» For people affected by involuntary childlessness, however, it is difficult to understand why measures to prolong life are rarely scrutinised, but those to create life are.
In the future scenario described by US ethics professor Henry Greely in his book «The End of Sex», natural conception will soon be obsolete. In future, people who wanted a child would no longer sleep together, but would go straight to the laboratory. Carl Djerassi, inventor of the contraceptive pill, was also convinced until his death in 2015 that most babies would be conceived artificially in 30 years' time. «Rubbish,» says sociologist Zehnder. «Artificial insemination means enormous physical, emotional and financial strain for those affected. Those who don't have to are unlikely to take it on.» However, reproductive medicine and alternative family models would present us with new questions: «Society has to renegotiate how and by what means you become a mother or father.»

Family values reinterpreted

And this is where we need to become more flexible, says sociologist Klaus Preisner: «Ultimately, it's about revising our concept of family by basing it on less rigid assumptions.» The millennia-old Christian-Jewish tradition, according to which only the traditional family creates good upbringing and solidarity, is no longer up to date. «It's not a good idea to deny divorced people, single people or homosexuals the ability to form relationships and bonds,» says Preisner, «they are also people who bring up and love their children.»
Furthermore, an individualised society is not necessarily an egocentric one, write the authors of the OECD family study. Family values such as cohesion will not die out in the future, but will be reinterpreted: «We will see more larger networks of family members who are connected through different marriages, partnerships and across generations. The upcoming generation will also develop new approaches to solidarity communities that could be groundbreaking in terms of social policy.»

According to Preisner, the fact that politicians cling to the narrow concept of family has disadvantages for society: «Even if you want to look after a sick partner, you are at a disadvantage if you are not married.» Furthermore, in times when partnerships last for shorter periods of time, it cannot be assumed that the traditional family model will guarantee solidarity in old age, argues Preisner.

The nuclear family braves the storm

The sociologist would therefore like to see an expansion of the traditional concept of family, as this would make access to social services more flexible and open it up to people outside the nuclear family. Then, for example, neighbours, friends or distant relatives would also receive care allowance if they look after the sick and elderly instead of the closest biological but unavailable relatives.

«Despite massive social upheaval, the traditional model will not disappear.»

Klaus Preisner, sociologist

Preisner is certain that the traditional nuclear family will not disappear. Despite massive social upheaval - or perhaps precisely because of it - the model is surprisingly stable. In a fast-moving and increasingly economically insecure world, Preisner believes this will not change.
As a result, people's retreat into the private sphere is giving the nuclear family even more of a boost. «What we now call alternative families,» says Klaus Preisner, "patchwork or rainbow families, for example, are, from a purely structural point of view, nuclear families, broken up and newly formed, but strongly orientated towards the classic model: There are two adults who look after children, live as a couple and want to be a family."
* Names changed by the editors.

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Read more:

• Mr Roos, is the traditional family dying out?
• Mrs Tazi-Preve, why are mothers so exhausted today?

• How are children faring in alternative family models? Interview with sociologist Andrea Bruschner - in issue 02 / 2018