The best thing about being a mum

Children make you happy? Yes, of course, but not always and certainly not necessarily every day. And yet: mum-of-three and online manager Florina Schwander wouldn't want to be a mum for a second. Here she tells us exactly what she thinks is the best thing about being a mum.

Are you expecting a hymn of praise for parenthood? I have to disappoint you. Even though I consider my children to be the most important thing in my life, I take a very realistic view of parenthood: children are neither responsible nor responsible for their parents' happiness. Numerous studies have proven this. And yet I would never want to swap a childless version of my life and have never wished for it, even in my most frustrating mum moments.

Why being a mother is the best thing in my life

There are several women and men in my circle who are currently considering whether they would like to have children or not. I don't proselytise to anyone, but when someone asks me directly, my answer is always that I have never doubted my decision to have children and that my family is the most important thing in my life.
Apart from the fact that I consider myself extremely lucky to have found the perfect husband and father for our family and that everything has worked out so well with the pregnancies and births, there is this one fact that reinforces me every day that my children are extremely good for me.

Children force you to self-reflect

Basically, I think that you can hardly spend enough time with yourself. The importance of introspection and how good a healthy dose of self-reflection is can be found in every collection of quotes. Many people don't scrutinise their actions and existence enough, because it is always exhausting and often cruelly embarrassing.
Since I became a mum, my children have made me question my actions, feelings and thoughts again and again every day. For example, my six-year-old daughter recently asked me what it means to be ambitious. I started to explain, but in the middle of it I realised that I was explaining the character trait to her in a rather negative way. I paused and thought about whether this was really my conviction or whether my explanation could be personally or subjectively coloured by current events? And then added a slightly more neutral interpretation. Or the topic of stress - and the question of what is really stressing me out? Am I actually tense because one son just wants to wear the nice (borrowed!) trainers in the mud garden or what exactly was going on with me?

I think, therefore I am - too critical?

The line between constant self-doubt, a guilty conscience and healthy self-adjustment is blurred. The danger of being too strict with yourself is great - especially as a mother. Rethinking the one no that was unnecessary in hindsight and accepting that you can be stressed sometimes is part of being a parent. Nobody has to be perfect.
But before you think I'm the perfect mum personified, sorry - again, not true. The trick is to accept your own ups and downs mercilessly. The children always cheerfully hold up a mirror to mum (and dad). The insights gained from this usually help me move forward. Or to put it another way: I grow from it. And that makes me happy. Incidentally, there's plenty of time for ego reflection when scrubbing tricky trainers.
You've read my thoughts, I'm interested in yours: What do you think is the best thing about being a mum or dad?

Florina Schwander leitet die Online-Redaktion von Fritz+Fränzi. Zuhause ist sie mitverantwortlich für den Medienkonsum von ihren drei Kindern (einmal sechs und zweimal vier Jahre alt) und überdenkt auch die eigene Mediennutzung regelmässig, wenn auch ungern. 
Florina Schwander is head of the online editorial team at Fritz+Fränzi. At home, she is jointly responsible for the media consumption of her three children (one aged six and two aged four) and regularly rethinks her own media use, albeit reluctantly.

You can read more personal texts by our authors here:

  • Why my children are at boarding school
  • Parental burnout: How I slipped into it and what helped me
  • What will it be like when the son grows up?