Strength training for the will
Imagine you are taking part in an experiment to find out how good you are at solving puzzles. At least that's what you were led to believe. What you don't realise: The task is unsolvable! The nasty experiment leader is actually interested in how long it will take before you throw in the towel in exasperation.
How long can you hold out? Ten minutes or half an hour?
You'll probably draw on character traits for your answer and say something like: «Oh, you know, I'm generally not the patient type - after a few minutes it would get too boring for me.» Or: «Probably half an hour - I'm pretty stubborn!»
As the well-known social psychologist Roy Baumeister found out, something else plays a decisive role alongside your personality traits: the question of what you did before the puzzle task.
If you had to choose your wedding decorations shortly beforehand, give up chocolate biscuits, dip your hand in ice water or follow instructions not to laugh during a funny film, you will probably give up earlier.
These somewhat absurd examples can be traced back to a series of studies in which Roy Baumeister investigated willpower. He found that there are at least four types of situations that «consume» our willpower:
The more goals we pursue that require willpower, the more exhausted we feel.
1. making decisions
We all make a myriad of small decisions throughout the day: What do I wear? What do I give the children for snack? Which email do I answer first? Should we meet friends at the weekend or do something with the family - and what? People like Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs and Alfred Hitchcock dressed the same way every day to avoid tiring themselves out with unnecessary decisions.
2. regulate your emotions
Whether you are a shop assistant treating an unsympathetic customer in a friendly manner or putting up with your child's grumbling about homework with a stoic face, you need willpower whenever you cannot or do not want to give free rein to your feelings.
3. resist temptations and desires
You are tempted countless times every day: just a quick Facebook check; just a piece of chocolate; staying up a little longer after the children have finally gone to bed; but a glass of wine with dinner. Your willpower ensures that you can resist, at least some of the time.
4. overcome reluctance and concentrate
Tidying the attic, cleaning the oven, filling in the tax return: Of course, you also need to summon up the willpower to tackle an unpleasant task and stay focussed.
Willpower works like a muscle
Roy Baumeister compares the way willpower works to a muscle: firstly, it is limited and weakens when we use it. Secondly, it recovers after a break. This effect is intensified when we consume glucose. And thirdly, willpower can be strengthened in the long term through training. We utilise the same reserves of strength for all of the situations mentioned above.
This means that if we pull ourselves together in one area and follow our diet plan with discipline, for example, we will have less patience with our children. If we have had to make small decisions throughout the day, we are less able to resist the chocolate bar. The more goals we pursue that require willpower, the more exhausted we feel.
At the same time, this explains why, for example, students who do endurance sports are often more disciplined in their learning than others despite having little free time: They are practised at overcoming unwillingness and inner resistance and not allowing themselves to be dissuaded from their goals. Over the years, they have trained themselves to have a proper «willpower muscle».
The more the thoughts «I still have to» and «I mustn't» dominate your everyday life, the more willpower you use up. Sometimes it is then lacking right at the crucial moment. You notice this when you are tired and exhausted in the evening - and at the same time feel dissatisfied because you «haven't actually done anything right».
Most people have the most willpower in the first two hours after breakfast. Reserve these for your most important task.
Most people have the most willpower in the first hour or two after breakfast. You are more productive and happier if you reserve this phase for an important task. Perhaps you think briefly in bed each evening about what your most important task could be the next day? What could you do in the morning so that you can look back on the day with satisfaction at lunch?
Roy Baumeister also advises us to sort out our goals. The fewer goals we have and the more compatible they are with each other, the more energy we have available to achieve them. If we have too many goals, we are constantly frustrated and use up our willpower without making any progress. It helps if we consciously decide what is more important to us at the moment: spending more time with our family or pushing ahead with our career? Buying and cooking healthy food or focussing entirely on completing a project in the next two weeks? Trying to do everything at the same time only leads to remorse.
Willpower exercises make it easier to overcome in all areas
Stefanie Rietzler and I describe several ways to motivate yourself in our book «Clever lernen». We were surprised to find that many young people like «The way of toughening up» the best. This involves consciously facing up to your «hate subject» with the aim of becoming a tough dog or a brave warrior. You conquer your reluctance and insecurity and study French or maths for 15 minutes, even though «you can't see through it at all», «you feel stupid», «you don't feel like it». Afterwards, you're proud that you've conquered your inner bastard. Many pupils really enjoy challenging themselves over time.
time, they really enjoy challenging themselves and engaging in increasingly demanding exercises. They are already imagining how «awesome» it will be when they have been able to push themselves for a whole hour. As research on willpower shows, such conscious «willpower exercises» train our willpower and make it easier for us to overcome ourselves in other areas too. But beware: this only works if we voluntarily commit ourselves and overcome - not if someone forces us to. And what would be a good exercise of willpower for you?
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Read more about willpower:
- Gruppendruck – mein Kind kann nicht Nein sagen
Eltern dürfen ihre Kinder nicht unter Druck setzen, sondern Ihnen helfen, auf ihre innere Stimme zu hören. - Was Kinder im Alltag stark macht
Wir alle wünschen uns Kinder, die dem Leben mit Mut begegnen; die mit Misserfolgen, Schwierigkeiten und Rückschlägen umzugehen wissen. Kinder, die ihre Stärken kennen und nutzen, ihre Schwächen akzeptieren und sich selbst annehmen können. Aber wie werden Kinder stark? Eine Anleitung. - So unterstützen Sie verträumte Kinder
Kleine Träumer sind kreativ und fantasievoll, aber oft vom Alltag überfordert. Und in der Schule wird ihre Neigung zum Problem. Wie Eltern ihrem verträumten Kind helfen und es unterstützen können.
