«Social networks are the children's revenge!»

Mr Miller, Swiss parents are worried that their children are becoming lonely in front of the PC and that social networks are pushing «real contacts» into the background.

What a strange idea! But the key thing is that it's social media. It's about hanging out with other people, exchanging ideas. I can say without a doubt: social networks make young people more social!

While they sit in front of their screens instead of being outside?

They have screens, yes. But today we have to understand interaction between young people as a mixture of online and offline communication. There is no such thing as a purely virtual reality - it is not separate from the rest of life. Normally, conversations with friends and school mates simply continue online.

And this is not at the expense of other activities?

Children will continue to do their homework, but they will want to switch on the webcam to be with others. It's not such a big distraction! Every now and then, when they are bored, they will say «Hi», but above all they feel safe when they have their peers around them. They know they won't miss out on anything.

You could meet up!

The problem is that this is hardly possible today. In the past, children could come together on the streets and many parents didn't even know what they were doing. But nowadays, parents are obsessed with the idea that their children are not safe outside, that they are being abducted by paedophiles and so on. Now they control almost everything their children do. But teenagers want to hang out with their friends - without parental supervision. So they use the screens to interact. Social networks are children's revenge, so to speak, on parents who restrict them too much.

But the Internet is not a safe space either.

Exactly. Now the parents are coming and saying: social media is dangerous! That's where the paedophiles are going to get you. They are trying to regain control over their children's freedom. Wherever the children play - whether outside or on the internet - the parents will say it's unsafe. It is simply in the nature of parents to want to protect their children. The media also tells us that children today are less safe, even though overall safety is improving. As far as the internet is concerned, the main danger there is other children. Young girls in particular are very mean to each other online - and at an age when they often have low self-confidence.

How dangerous is this cyberbullying for the adolescent psyche?

The problem is that parents believe that there are clearly victims on one side and perpetrators on the other. They don't realise what is really happening: Most are perpetrators and victims at the same time. For example, they are «best friends forever» until they become «worst enemies forever». They spread rumours and say mean things to each other. This is the culture of our teenagers and parents should be aware that their child is part of it. This is nothing new. Kids have always said things to each other like, «I'm going to kill you for stealing my boyfriend». What is new is that parents are suddenly reading along on Facebook and the like. That makes them nervous. However, if they then get involved, the problem becomes even bigger. Suddenly the schools have to deal with it too. But they already have enough to do.

What is the difference when this getting ready takes place online?

I quote the children we interviewed. Firstly: It goes on after school, day and night. Secondly, it's easier to say something mean online than when you're in front of the person. Thirdly, there are lots of indirect insults on the internet that make you feel like you're being addressed even though you weren't meant. It says: «The ugly cow who's interested in other people's boyfriends» - and everyone thinks it's about them. That all sounds very bad now. My job as a scientist is to correct this perspective.

And how do you do that?

Firstly, we looked at whether the possible consequences of bullying had increased among young people, i.e. anorexia, self-harming behaviour and suicide, for example. So far, all the statistics I know have shown that this is not the case. We also asked teachers whether the atmosphere between pupils had deteriorated. They say quite clearly: no. What used to happen offline is simply happening online. And the fact that it happens online also has advantages: Firstly, we now have evidence, and secondly, the bullying is less physical. It also equalises a gender difference: Boys used to be meaner because they were physically superior to girls. With social media, girls have gained strength - unfortunately, they also use it against each other. But you can't just be beaten up online, you also get a lot of validation and support.

Do the sexes also differ when it comes to getting confirmation on the internet? The Swiss James Study found that boys value video content above all, while girls prefer photos.

Twitter, for example, is all about being funny and original, which the boys like. On Instagram, beautiful pictures are important, girls like that. Media use fits in well with gender stereotypes. Boys also like to post videos - but usually in connection with a funny text comment. Whereas girls are mainly interested in beauty and aesthetic photos.

You talked about young people as a culture. Does social media use also differ between different countries?

Together with nine researchers in nine countries, we spent 15 months analysing and comparing the use of social networks. This showed us that people use media completely differently depending on the society in which they grow up. In some countries, the internet changes a lot. For example, women from strict Muslim families can suddenly talk to men outside of the family context. For the English, on the other hand, Facebook is a practical way of keeping people at a distance, but not having to tell them that you're not very interested in them. We like our relationships like our weather: lukewarm.

What about the issue of privacy?

We are often afraid that we will lose privacy through social media. In China, for example, we have gained the impression that many factory workers are gaining privacy through social networks. One of our employees used to live with the workers in the factory. They often come from rural areas, used to share a room with their family and now share it with other workers. It's only with social media that they can do things that their family and colleagues don't know about. No wonder, you see them on their mobile phones every free minute.

Do parents worldwide show their children's photos on the Internet?

Here in England, parents are in a dilemma: they want so much to share their children's pictures with the whole world. So not many, just 100 pictures a day (laughs). At the same time, parents are afraid. That's very English. In India or China, you don't worry about who sees your child. Because honestly, what's the big deal? I don't think there has ever been a baby who has suffered because a photo of them was posted. This fear is not rational.

How do parents free themselves from the dilemma?

They share their children's pictures with other parents in WhatsApp groups and closed Facebook groups. That works well. As long as it doesn't degenerate into a competition for the best and smartest child.

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