Violence at home is widespread and talking about it is a big taboo. A visit to the upper school in Hombrechtikon, where pupils no longer want to look the other way.
Elsa and her colleagues roll their eyes. The four Peacemakers from the Hombrechtikon ZH upper school are sitting together with the management team. They have just presented a bold idea: Domestic violence should no longer be taboo at their school. Pupils who are beaten or mentally abused by their parents should open up to their classmates or teachers and talk about their suffering. The school's peacemakers should break the ice and sensitise their colleagues to the issue and perhaps even provide concrete support if necessary. Elsa, 16, says what everyone is thinking: "Who is going to come out on this topic?"
The Peacemakers are two pupils from each class who are the contact persons for problems of all kinds: arguments, threats, bullying or even love dramas. The "peacemakers" are made aware of these issues and are encouraged to look at their peers and seek help from the counsellors if necessary.
<img alt="Elsa, 16, 3rd sec: «The atmosphere at school has changed.»« src="https://www.fritzundfraenzi.ch/uploads/2021/08/dd21425dda5ee1f8e7fa6ff9b3e011ff.jpg» />
Elsa, 16, 3rd sec: «The atmosphere at school has changed.»
<img alt="Angelo, 17, 3rd sec: «Parents who punish their children because they have bad grades actually want to help them. But they only make it worse.»« src="https://www.fritzundfraenzi.ch/uploads/2021/08/c2f2f41900382cdab0ea8334b55f36b6.jpg» />
Angelo, 17, 3rd sec: «Parents who punish their children because they have bad grades actually want to help them. But they only make it worse.»
Jessica, 16, 3rd sec: «The topic of violence at home should also be addressed at other schools. There should be peacemakers at every school.»
<img alt="Mark, 14, 2nd sec: «I think the parents who have heard about the programme are now making up their own minds.»« src="https://www.fritzundfraenzi.ch/uploads/2021/08/a53bce133bce46f22261c96b5ac7b3aa.jpg» />
Mark, 14, 2nd sec: «I think the parents who have heard about the programme are now thinking for themselves.»
This programme has been running at the Gmeindmatt school in Hombrechtikon for almost 17 years now - "a success story", as Lothar Janssen proudly explains. The theologian, psychotherapist and former teacher is the school's counselling and prevention officer and leads the Peacemakers together with Ulrike Spitznagel, class teacher, and Therese Odermatt, sports teacher. "From bullying to suicidal thoughts: the young people come to us with all kinds of problems," says Janssen. With one exception: "No one has ever come to us with a case of domestic violence."
Every fifth child suffers from domestic violence
Violence suffered at home is a widespread problem, even in Switzerland. A new study by the Zurich University of Applied Sciences (ZHAW ) has raised eyebrows: One in five children in Switzerland suffers from severe physical violence at home, i.e. being hit with fists, objects or beaten. A full eight out of ten adolescents are familiar with corporal punishment as a method of education: slapping, pushing or hard grabbing.
The subject is serious, but that doesn't mean that it's not allowed to have a laugh: Lothar Janssen discusses it with peacemakers Elsa, Jessica and Angelo in his office.
The numbers are large, as is the silence. Domestic violence is one of the biggest taboos in our society. Schools also feel the cloak of childish silence that lies over incidents of domestic violence: "Affected children want to cover up for their parents, they are ashamed," confirms Matthias Borer, head teacher in Hombrechtikon. "The children's greatest fear is that they will be taken away from their parents." And that is the worst-case scenario for most of them, despite all the violence. He draws the drastic conclusion: "In some cases, children love their parents more than the other way round."
Violence occurs in the best families
The ZHAW study concludes that physical violence is particularly common in families that are financially and socially disadvantaged. Hombrechtikon, a community of 8600 people located above Zurich's Gold Coast on the ridge of the Pfannenstiel, is not a social hotspot. Nevertheless, domestic violence is an issue here too - as the peacemakers will soon realise.
"In some cases, children love their parents more than the other way round."
Head teacher Matthias Borer
Elsa and her colleagues are persuaded to try the experiment. They prepare a presentation for the school: They conduct interviews, shoot videos, rehearse theatre scenes and create a wristband with the inscription: "Problems at home? Find a solution - take a break!"
Three out of ten parents punish their children for bad grades
A few weeks later, the time has come: several classes from the school are sitting in the assembly hall. While the peacemakers talk about domestic violence against children, it is unusually quiet in the hall. The topic is touching. One pupil tells a teacher afterwards: "When I come home with bad grades, it's called: " The Peacemaker team has been closely supporting the pupil ever since and regularly seeks dialogue with him.
"When I come home with bad grades, it's called: "
Pupil, anonymous
And, as a parent survey conducted by Peacemaker shows, the pupil concerned is not alone. The results of the survey are shocking: Three out of ten mums and dads surveyed said that they punish their children for poor grades. Two said that their children had nothing to say at home. The survey is of course anything but representative and the type of punishment was not asked about. But it is a clear indication: violence at home also seems to be an issue among pupils in Hombrechtikon.
Mental disorders, drugs and poor school performance
The consequences of domestic violence against children are fatal. Franz Ziegler, psychologist, remedial teacher and long-standing head of Child Protection Switzerland, has clear words: "The moment I start to undermine the development of a child's self-confidence and their trust in others, we are talking about psychological violence." If you tell a child that you only love them if they do what you want them to do - for example, tidy their room - then that is a form of blackmail. And in combination with threatening, ridiculing, humiliating, isolating, ignoring or constantly blaming, this is a method of communicating to the child: You are inferior.
"I certainly don't want to trivialise beatings," says the prevention officer in Hombrechtikon, Lothar Janssen, based on his practical experience. "But psychological pressure is sometimes almost more difficult to bear. You wait for the blow and it doesn't come - it's like a bow that gets tighter and tighter."
When the father freaks out: In a theatre scene, two peacemakers explain to their classmates what violence at home means.
The consequences of psychological violence can be dramatic: according to Ziegler, they include "the whole spectrum of psychological disorders, aggressive or depressive behaviour, drug or alcohol abuse." These are the same effects that study director Dirk Baier from the ZHAW mentions in an interview with Fritz + Fränzi in relation to physical violence. Ziegler and Baier also mention massive school problems as a typical consequence of persistent physical or psychological violence - the opposite of what parents who physically punish or put psychological pressure on a child because of poor grades want to achieve.
"Megagood" at school - arms full of scars
Peacemaker Jessica, 16, a third-year pupil, knows just how bad psychological pressure can be for young people. She talks about a case from the past that she did not explicitly categorise as a case of domestic violence at the time. It was about a classmate who was "mega good" at school: "I always thought she just liked learning." The colleague also wears long-sleeved T-shirts in summer. On a hot day, she briefly pulls up her sleeves in the playground. Jessica is shocked: Her arms are covered in scars right up to the top - the girl is scratching herself. After the break, Jessica goes to her teacher Ulrike Spitznagel and tells her about the disturbing observation.
The two of them agree that Jessica should carefully approach her classmate about it. The secondary school pupil approaches her colleague and first tells her about the Peacemakers. Then she asks how she is. "Everything's ok," she replies. Jessica asks more questions and at some point her classmate can no longer hold back: She bursts into tears and can hardly be calmed down. Jessica finds out: Her father is terminally ill. And her mother puts her under constant pressure, telling her again and again: "You have to bring home good grades, otherwise her father will be even worse."
"You have to bring home good grades, otherwise her father will be even worse off."
Jessica offers to listen and goes on outings with her colleague to take her mind off things. The girl accepts the offer. She later writes Jessica a long letter of thanks. The fact that she was able to open up to someone, that she could talk about her grief, helped her - even if the situation at home remained difficult.
Violence? Not with us
The consequences of domestic violence for children and young people are dramatic: At school, affected pupils or their teachers often find little support. Theres Odermatt says about her experiences at another school: "When I went to the school management with a suspected case, they rolled their eyes and said: " And Lothar Janssen tells of a school where he was told by the school management: Violence in the family? That doesn't happen here.
Theres Odermatt (here with Peacemakers before her presentation in the assembly hall) has always been a teacher who could not and would not look away.
In fact, a teacher faces a lot when they offer themselves as a contact person. "It can go as far as the KESB and criminal charges, it keeps you busy day and night," says Ulrike Spitznagel. "As a teacher who gets involved, you offer the parents a target." But for Odermatt and Spitznagel, one thing is clear: looking away is not an option. And they have the full support of their headteacher to look. Matthias Borer emphasises that he is fully behind the Peacemaker initiative and wants to raise the issue of domestic violence in particular.
Fear of beatings in several cases
The courage of the school management and the Peacemaker team in Hombrechtikon seems to be paying off: Lothar Janssen reports that after the boy who opened up to his teacher after the presentation, other cases have come to light: Two girls report that one of them is wrongly suspected by her parents of having smoked. And: "I'm afraid that my father will hit me." Janssen suggests calling the father and the girl agrees. Without taking a position, Janssen signals to the pupil: " We take you seriously and we care. And the father now also knows that his daughter is in dialogue with the Peacemakers.
The pupils now know that if they are suffering at home, they don't have to endure it in silence. There are people who will help them.
In another case, the peacemakers report on a pupil who is doing very badly at school and is desperately seeking social contact. Janssen tries to talk to him. Unfortunately, the peacemakers' suspicions are confirmed: The boy has been beaten by his father. Because he fears further beatings, he does not want Janssen, the prevention officer, to get in touch with him. Janssen asks a peacemaker to stand by the boy - and to contact him immediately if anything happens again. This gives Janssen the opportunity to involve the authorities or the police immediately.
No simple solutions
The examples show: Each case has its own dynamics, its own history, its own problems. However, all cases have one thing in common: there is no simple solution. "What we can do," says Lothar Janssen, "is to offer contact persons and set up a monitoring system". In other words, to cast a net between all the people involved, from teachers to the police and authorities. "That way, those affected know that someone is there for them. And we can intervene if the situation escalates."
Just under six months have passed since the presentation in the assembly hall. Peacemakers Jessica, Angelo, Mark and Elsa sit together at a table in Ulrike Spitznagel's classroom. Their disbelief at the bold idea and their scepticism have given way to open enthusiasm for the cause. "The topic is spreading," says Angelo. "The atmosphere at the school has changed," adds Elsa. The four peacemakers are aware that not all the problems have been solved, and that this was just the beginning. But they are all convinced that the days when domestic violence was a taboo are over at their school.
Read more:
Slapping is still too normal in Switzerland. An interview on new findings about violence against children in Switzerland.
Verbal violence - when words hurt children's souls Threats, blackmail, humiliation - it's not just slaps in the face that can hurt children in everyday family life. Psychological violence is the most common form of violence against minors, says psychologist and curative educator Franz Ziegler.
You can get help here:
Here you can get further information and help on the subject of domestic violence:
Swiss Crime Prevention SKP: Information on the topic of domestic violence from the cantonal police prevention centre.
Fachverband Gewaltberatung Schweiz FVGS: Overview of counselling services for perpetrators of domestic violence.
Cantonal counselling centres for children and young people who are victims of domestic violence.
Pro Juventuteemergency number 147 for children and young people.
Cantonal counselling centres for adults who use violence and seek support.
The Swiss Centre for Violence Issues SIFG, which is chaired by Lothar Janssen, offers specialist conferences and further training on the subject of violence.
This text was originally published in German and was automatically translated using artificial intelligence. Please let us know if the text is incorrect or misleading: feedback@fritzundfraenzi.ch
