Rewards - a double-edged sword

Rewards can be a support for both children and adults. They can serve as a kind of crutch that makes walking easier until our legs have enough strength to carry us. This is especially true if certain actions are difficult or unpleasant at first, but become more enjoyable with practice.

When rewards make sense

I am thinking, for example, of a girl with a reading disability. She read very slowly and haltingly and felt an increasing reluctance to read. The girl also found it «totally unfair» that she had to read for 15 minutes every day during the summer holidays. However, as she had forgotten almost all the letters during the previous holidays, the practice was urgently needed.

Two small rewards were intended to make reading easier for the girl at the beginning. The first reward consisted of the parents agreeing to take turns reading. After a few lines, the mum or dad would read the rest of the page to her. The child was allowed to sit back and enjoy the story. This reward makes sense because it is closely linked to the activity and makes it clear to the child that reading gives you access to wonderful stories.

The second reward was intended to compensate for the «costs» incurred by the girl. At the beginning of the counselling session, she thought it was «totally unfair» that her lovely free time was being stolen from her to practise reading - the other children weren't expected to do that either. The parents and I had to agree with him and therefore agreed the following: You can decide for yourself whether you want to read during the holidays. If you give up your valuable free time for this, you can stay up half an hour longer in the evening - that way you won't lose any time. At the same time, the girl was told that this «deal» only applied to voluntary, additional reading - and could never be extended to duties such as homework. On most days, she decided in favour of reading and staying up.

Care was also taken to ensure that the reading exercises were designed to be fun. As her reading skills increased, the girl was willing to read larger sections herself. At the start of the new school year, the «deal» was also changed: The girl was also allowed to switch off the light 15 minutes later during school hours. However, the rule was: you must already be in bed, but you can still read.

A few months later, her parents realised that her attitude towards reading had changed for good when they caught their daughter reading with a torch under the duvet after the lights had gone out.

In this example, I see rewards as a valuable crutch. The girl did not enjoy reading at first because of her weakness. It was exhausting. The rewards increased the appeal of reading until the skill was developed to the point where reading itself was enjoyable. However, rewards can also have undesirable side effects.

When are rewards not appropriate?

You should be cautious with rewards if a child already enjoys doing something on its own. In this case, an additional reward can undermine the original motivation that comes from within. This process is known as the corrupting effect.

For example, if a child enjoys practising a sport, gets better and better and starts to win tournaments, the reward in the form of tournament victories can become more important than the enjoyment of the exercise. As long as the successes are there, they provide additional motivation.
If they suddenly fail to materialise, the child may no longer feel the same enthusiasm for the sport as at the beginning. The problem therefore arises when an additional reward is added and then withdrawn again at a certain point.

Rewards have an even more negative effect when we want to help someone. An example of this would be the child who mows his grandparents' lawn because he wants to do something for them. If the grandparents give him five francs in return, the child may stop mowing the lawn from that moment on.

When rewards set the wrong incentives

The grandparents used the money to «pay» the child for his work and thus thwarted his original motivation to do something for their sake. The grandparents' joy and the feeling of having done a good deed would have been worth the effort for the child - but for five francs, the work is too tedious for him.

Rewards can also provide the wrong incentives. Well-managed SMEs can often count on the loyalty of their employees. They motivate through a sense of belonging and shared goals and values. Large corporations that aim to maximise profits try to retain and motivate their employees through bonuses. This often means that everyone thinks only of themselves - and is happy to switch to the direct competition for a bigger bonus.

«What do I get for it?»

Similarly, reward systems in families and schools can undermine the sense of community. After a motivating initial phase with reward schemes, many families find that the children only think about their points, demand ever greater rewards and - when asked for a favour - ask: «What do I get for it?»

Children need parents and teachers to relate to them and guide them - if we delegate this task to a reward system, we weaken our role and the relationship with the child.

Tips: Reward the child properly

• Use rewards carefully and sparingly.
• Make sure that the reward is related to the activity (as with reading aloud).
• Make your child aware that the reward is only used for a specific situation for a specific period of time.
• If possible, don't give your child additional rewards for things they like to do anyway.
• Don't reward children for doing something for you - just be happy about it and say thank you.

About the author:

Fabian Grolimund is a psychologist and author («Learning with children»). In the «Parent coaching» section, he answers questions about everyday family life. The 37-year-old is married and father to a son, 4, and a daughter, 1. He lives with his family in Freiburg.
www.mit-kindern-lernen.ch www.biber-blog.com
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