Rewarding and punishing: our topic in May

Communication instead of manipulation: Unconditionally formulated criticism and wishes are better received by the child. But how exactly does this work?

Editor-in-chief Nik Niethammer introduces you to the focus «Rewarding and punishing» and other topics in the May issue in our cover film. The new magazine will be published on Wednesday, 12 May 2021 and can also be ordered online.

In an interview with Florina Schwander via Zoom, editor-in-chief Nik Niethammer reveals, among other things, which parenting traps he often falls into at home.

Dear reader
Before you ask: Yes, I also regularly fall into the if-then trap: «If you tidy your room now, then you can watch an episode of «Heroes of the Building Site»» is often my last desperate attempt to get Junior to make his four walls accessible again. Psychologists call this manipulation. But how do parents motivate their children without rewarding them for their behaviour? And how does parenting work without punishment? The answer to these questions has to do with your own attitude towards your child. Exciting! You can read more about this in the dossier «Rewarding and punishing» by Julia Meyer-Hermann.
Drugs, violence, bullying, conflicts between pupils, problems at home: school social worker Veronica Graber deals with these issues on a daily basis. My colleague Evelin Hartmann spoke to her about her work and the increase in mental health problems during the pandemic. Three extracts:

  • «Mal sind wir Türöffner, mal Anwälte für das Kind, mal für die Lehrpersonen. Immer aber versuchen wir eine neutrale Haltung einzunehmen.»
  • «Egal wie schambesetzt ein Thema ist, die Kinder können mit allem zu mir kommen.»
  • «Man muss lernen, sich abzugrenzen. Mein Handy stelle ich abends auf lautlos.»

Read the full interview: «No matter how shameful a topic is, children can come up with anything».
«Are boys disadvantaged at school?» This question is the subject of a text by Christof Gertsch that appeared in the Tamedia newspapers' «Magazin». Gertsch spoke to experts and compiled a wealth of findings, facts and assessments. His conclusion: the reasons for the differences in performance between boys and girls are complex. But the real problem is a different one. I am delighted to be able to present this excellent research to you as a reprint.
«When fathers are present, everyone wins» is the headline of psychologist Fabian Grolimund's column. Finding our role in parenting is not so easy. Grolimund speaks from the heart of many men when he writes: «The role of assistant or labourer is completely uninteresting for us fathers. If anything, we want to do it properly and take full responsibility.»

«And suddenly the child realises: you can rely on dad, he's there when I'm not feeling well.»

Fabian Grolimund, psychologist

«Where everyday life is becoming digital, the longing for analogue quality is growing. Mechanical watches are booming, beautiful books remain in demand, vinyl records are experiencing a renaissance. And print is celebrating a strong comeback». This - admittedly - rather optimistic view from German journalist and publisher Peter Turi fits in wonderfully with this news on our own behalf: our small, fine parents' magazine has achieved record readership for the fifth year in a row. Fritz+Fränzi now has 211,000 readers, 64,000 more than in 2016. We had to pinch ourselves - digitally, of course - and say thank you for your loyalty, praise and criticism. And for allowing us to continue to accompany you and your children - in both easy and challenging times.
Stay confident.
Sincerely,
Your Nik Niethammer