Remo Largo: «The bonding time we have in Switzerland is a scandal!»

His books are standard works for parents and his studies are among the most important in the field of child development research. At our talk in the Kulturpark, Remo Largo spoke about the social behaviour of children and young people - and got quite political in the process.

Text and photos: Florina Schwander
Video livestream: Smovie

Relationships are close to Remo Largo's heart, for him they are the cornerstone of a successful parent-child bond, and Largo also believes that the motivation to learn and the learning success of children and young people at school are based on the relationship, the bond between teacher and pupil.

On Monday, 18 March 2019, Remo Largo entered into a relationship with the audience at the talk in the Kulturpark. He repeatedly asked the readers of the parents' magazine Fritz+Fränzi about their experiences and responded to questions from the audience and the community via Facebook.

You can watch the 100-minute recording of the event in the video. The talk was divided into the following blocks: What do we mean by the social behaviour of children and young people and how does this develop during the baby years, school years and puberty.

Remo Largo's most important statements are summarised in the text below.

Recording of the livestream. The conversation with Prof. Dr Remo Largo begins at minute 5 and is moderated by Evelin Hartmann, Deputy Editor-in-Chief, and Nik Niethammer, Editor-in-Chief of Fritz+Fränzi.

How does the bond between child and carer(s) develop?

Every child wants to feel accepted and secure. Building an attachment to a chosen caregiver is therefore a deeply rooted human need. Strong attachment behaviour can also be observed everywhere in nature. The more we adapt to a child's individuality, the more comfortable it feels. With puberty, this attachment stops, the child detaches and becomes «difficult to control» for the parents.

Remo Largo, born in Winterthur in 1943, studied medicine and developmental paediatrics. From 1978 until his retirement, he headed the "Growth and Development" department at the University Children's Hospital Zurich. The longitudinal studies he leads are among the most comprehensive studies in global developmental research.
Remo Largo, born in Winterthur in 1943, studied medicine and developmental paediatrics. From 1978 until his retirement, he headed the «Growth and Development» department at the University Children's Hospital Zurich. The longitudinal studies he leads are among the most comprehensive studies in global developmental research.

How good a bond is is purely a matter of time, Remo Largo continues. And: «The amount of bonding time we have in Switzerland is a scandal!» Sufficient time for the father, for example, means that after a certain amount of time he can look after his baby on his own, feed it, calm it down and put it to sleep. However, Switzerland is a «developing country» when it comes to meaningful bonding time.

Bonding in the baby years

In the first few years of life, bonding lays the foundation for a good relationship later on. Children also need other children so that they can develop normally. This is Remo Largo's next demand to politicians: crèches are far too expensive. They should be part of the education system and supported by the state. Parents or other carers are also important as role models. Remo Largo quotes Karl Valentin: «We can't educate children, they do everything after us anyway.»

What is important at school?

A good relationship is also the most important thing at school. The better the relationship between pupil and teacher, the better the child will do at school. Remo Largo has a clear opinion on the current assessment system: there is no need for this assessment. If children learn a lot by heart, they get good marks, but that doesn't make them any smarter. If a teacher knows the pupils well and has a good relationship with them, then they know where the child stands and no more grades are needed.

Self-determination is also important at school. Every child, regardless of age, wants to be as self-determined as possible. In everyday (school) life, children are often too dependent on others.

What happens to the parent-child bond during puberty?

The time of letting go begins at puberty. In the animal kingdom, young animals are sometimes pushed away, but in humans it may happen the other way round. There is a break, the bond is severed. Parents feel a loss of control, children often consciously turn against their parents. From puberty onwards, parents can only be role models, «the job is done».