Remain a role model - even for teenagers

In this way, parents can continue to exert influence when their child begins to orientate itself towards others.

6 food for thought for parents of teenagers on the subject of being a role model:

The same applies now: be a role model instead of reproaching. Adolescents are looking for guidance and encouragement, especially when they want to try something new, whether it's climbing a mountain or learning to play the drums. It spurs them on when mum and dad say: Try it out! Have the courage!

Provide guidance: Teenagers are often insecure in their search for themselves. What helps: Read biographies or watch documentaries. Tracing the lives of daring, extraordinary people who have taken risks is encouraging. Seeing that others had to fight their way through, had to work for their success, that nothing fell into their lap, can spur them on.

Stay in dialogue: Even if teenagers look for role models that their mum and dad are not enthusiastic about, they should not be negated straight away. It is important to find out what is going on in the child's mind and why they should be this particular hero. After all, young people are keen to set themselves up in opposition to their parents, which is part of the process of cutting the cord and forming their own views and opinions.

Practise composure: If you approach a young person with too much pressure, you risk alienating them, which in turn can have an impact on the mental health of parents and children. Don't get upset straight away, show understanding - this helps teenagers to develop and encourages them to confide in their parents in the event of difficulties.

Set clear rules: Negotiate rather than impose: As children get older, parents need to negotiate things rather than simply ordering things. It is helpful to sit down together once a week and discuss tasks. Be specific and don't make vague promises. Young people should learn to argue and not just grimace and run away.

Remember: Conversations with teenagers cannot be forced, but offers to talk should always be made. It can be helpful here if parents talk more about themselves, talk about their own thoughts and opinions and talk about their youth.

Auf der Suche nach einer eigenen Identität orientieren sich Kinder zunächst an den Eltern – und grenzen sich dann immer stärker von ihnen ab. Wie Müttern und Vätern das Vorbildsein gelingt, erfahren Sie im
In their search for their own identity, children initially orientate themselves towards their parents - and then increasingly distance themselves from them. Find out how mums and dads can succeed in being a role model in the online dossier "Being a role model".

Read more about role models:

  • Be a role model: Do I want to be like that?
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  • «Young people can choose their own role models»
    Developmental psychologist Moritz Daum says that when older children are looking for role models, outward appearances need not be more important than inner values. Belonging to a group is essential for the orientation of adolescents.
  • How parents shape genes
    How a child develops depends on a complex interplay between its genetic make-up and environmental factors. Expert opinions differ on the extent of parental influence.
  • "Laughing together helps to overcome a lot"
    Martina    , 38, a long-term care specialist in geriatric psychiatry, and Martin Gerber, 40, an automotive diagnostician, live with their sons Timo, 13, and Leo, 11, in Sumiswald BE. They want to teach their children to stand up for their own opinions, but also to compromise.
  • "We exemplify respect and tolerance"
    Marcelle Graf    , 38, is an accountant and management assistant in a planning office. The father of her sons Ariseo, 11, and Nelio, 9, also lives in St. allen and is there for the children despite being separated.
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    Julia Vincenz    , 16, is training to be a childcare specialist and lives with her parents Martina Arpagaus and Curdin Vincenz, both 47, and her brother Florian, 14, in Zurich. She says that her mother has shown her how to always be herself.
  • Dossier: Being a role model
    In their search for their own identity, children initially orientate themselves towards their parents - and then increasingly distance themselves from them. In this dossier, you can find out how mums and dads can succeed in being role models .