Planet of the Teenagers

During my studies, I spent a lot of time studying the philosophy of language. What is truth was the question that drove me - and above all: can we recognise it? Here is the answer from my six years of philosophy: yes, there is truth, but recognising it is difficult, and language is not a suitable means of doing so.

Which is not surprising when you consider how playful, flexible and unreliable language can be. Of course, you don't need a degree in philosophy to recognise this. It's enough to have two teenagers at home.

I don't know if it's the hormones and if so, is it my children's or my own, but I no longer understand them. And not in a figurative sense. I don't understand their language. If I ask them a question, for example: Do we want rice or pasta for dinner, for example, they say, «Easy.» Or «I swear.» If I then ask them what exactly that means, they roll their eyes and say to each other: «Full on.» Or they give each other meaningful looks and grin.

Instead of making an effort to understand them, I just let their language wash over me.

I stand there with a big question mark over my head. I feel like a linguist on a previously undiscovered island who is supposed to learn the language of the natives without any further aids. And that's what I am too, the two of them live on their planet Teenager with their teenage themes and their teenage language.

The only thing left for me to do is to observe my study subjects closely in order to establish reliable connections between individual sounds and their meanings. So when the three of us sit at the table and the two of them talk about their day, I listen attentively to their gibberish and try to get to the bottom of their idiom. But it's more difficult than I thought.

The vocabulary of their language seems very limited, consisting of only a few dozen words. But as in Chinese, context and emphasis play a decisive and, for me, still inscrutable role. One and the same word can mean one thing or the opposite, depending on the emphasis. That makes things extremely challenging.

In the meantime, I have become humble. Instead of making an effort to understand them, I just let their language wash over me. Like the other day when I was hiking and soon gave up trying to join in their conversation. Until I suddenly realised that I could understand them after all. And that I could now hear them talking about things they never talk to me about. About colleagues, their future, which degree course is assessed and how, what is honourable behaviour and what is not.

I marvelled and smiled and kept quiet and listened the whole way. And I realised that there was a truth beyond her words: I have indeed landed in a new world, a world that my two children will help shape. I am ready to get to know them.