«Parents should experience their child as an asset. And not as a disturbance»

Do you remember the grounding of Swissair? That was in the autumn of 2001 and you may have been on your way south at the time - for the first time with friends, without your parents. Or perhaps you were completing your education or moving into your room in a student hall of residence. Perhaps you even met the partner with whom you started the project of a lifetime: starting your own family. At that time, Ellen Ringier, a lawyer and mother of two, set up the Stiftung Elternsein (Parenthood Foundation), with which she wanted to be a beacon for mothers and fathers and provide guidance in the turbulent, sometimes demanding everyday family life. Her aim was to impart parenting knowledge, offer a helping hand and give advice, all in the form of a magazine: «Fritz+Fränzi» was born.

Back then, the parents' guide was published four times a year - today there are ten issues a year, each with more than 105,000 copies that reach you, dear parents, via a wide variety of channels. There are also special editions on career choices and health as well as a kindergarten series that provides valuable information to mothers and fathers of kindergarten children. But that's not all: the Stiftung Elternsein foundation has been involved in other projects and campaigns for years. Our activities now reach over 4.5 million people every year.

Today, children are exposed to an overload of stimuli 365 days a year, around the clock.

The editors of the Swiss parents' magazine Fritz+Fränzi, as the parents' guide has been called since September 2014, have taken the trouble to meticulously analyse the development steps of our institution since its inception for the anniversary edition. The result is an impressive list.
Even though we are constantly reflecting on our work, now is the time to scrutinise our activities and our impact. Have we used the past 20 years wisely? Have we managed to make a significant contribution? Are we making a difference with our work? Do we have our finger on the pulse? What would happen if the Parenthood Foundation no longer existed, would there be a gap?
Or to put it another way: is what we have done good (enough)?

Let me take this opportunity to quote from an article by Corinne Luca, published on Spiegel Online and elsewhere:"There are a few things that are different about modern parenting ," writes the German author and blogger, explaining why exactly this is so stressful today: «You don't actually have any time. Everything happens between your late 20s and late 30s these days. It's not for nothing that the term "rush hour of life» exists. You only have a few years to find a partner, pursue a career and have children. Once the children have arrived, parents only want the best for them. And drive them from chess lessons to early Chinese and back. So that they are prepared for life. Unfortunately, it is no longer clear what the future holds. What part of our parental knowledge will they need? (...) That's why they (the parents) often seem so unrelaxed.
Parenting today is a journey without a map. In the past, you could agree on the basics with most fellow parents and the judgemental environment: the children should be full, have clean clothes and not fail completely at school. Today, you get the title of deadbeat parent if your child isn't vegan, doesn't read fluently at the age of four or doesn't greet the neighbour properly.
But you only realise afterwards that you've done something wrong again. Because they no longer exist, the standardised educational goals. That doesn't have to be a bad thing. Freedom is a nice thing. But it's hard to keep your eye on the goal with a self-drawn map and not become insecure when someone keeps telling you that the left way round is faster. Little by little, your gut feeling is eroded."
Corinne Luca sums up impressively what is on the minds of many young parents today. What the author does not mention, however, is the fact that information technology has changed our lives immensely in a short space of time, including family life and the way children grow up. Parents today are feeling the consequences of this, sometimes severely.

Goodbye, rose-coloured glasses: the «Kosenamen» campaign shows the worries parents face when their little ones grow up - and wins bronze in the advertisement category at the Art Directors Club Switzerland.

If I tried to find out whether parenting is more challenging today than it used to be without the internet, I would probably go to a library and select three to five book titles or studies to look up the relevant articles and explanations - it would take several hours or days. If you enter the relevant search term on Google, you get 3,70,00 hits within 0.54 seconds.

That's what we have to do today: Coping with the flood of information, distinguishing the good from the bad, separating the relevant from the rubbish. When I was a child, we used to visit the Franz-Carl-Weber toy shop on Zurich's Bahnhofstrasse once a year, which was a total sensory overload for us children. Once a year, for two hours. Today, children are exposed to sensory overload 365 days a year, around the clock. The Internet has no shop opening hours. How is that supposed to work? Parents have to come to terms with this. But: Children are defencelessly at the mercy of the Internet. Parents are therefore called upon to take responsibility, set an example, show presence, help, support and correct. After all, it is us adults who are driving technological development to excess. We adults developed the smartphone. We adults are the failed role models who show our children how to use smartphones in a dubious way. We are always on our mobile phones. Knowing that our children are watching us, wanting to please us and copying our behaviour, we are sending them a fatal message: The mobile phone is very, very important. And then we wonder why our children can hardly get away from it and scold them about their out-of-control media consumption.

Many parents are afraid of parent education. Fear of the gravity of the topics and of being overwhelmed.

Innovations have become more complex and threaten to divide society into a class society. Their criteria are purchasing power, access and agility. The internet is one of the most valuable and relevant achievements of mankind. Thanks to the internet, the reach of information can be massively increased. The Internet makes it more difficult for dictatorships to manipulate information. There are options in education. How would we have managed distance learning during the lockdown without the internet? The internet is invaluable for international understanding.
I wouldn't want to be without my mobile phone. I can't imagine both my professional and private life without it. But it's up to us to set an example of how to use it - it may be a bit strenuous, sometimes tedious, but it's our job. When it comes to media responsibility, Swisscom has been supporting us for several years with useful contributions. We also addressed the topic of «role models» in our July 2021 issue, with a dossier that is extremely readable and instructive. Not surprisingly, our «Deceleration» dossier in particular was sold out within a very short space of time. Apparently, many parents are looking for balance, for stability.
We take a closer look at the changes in everyday parenting in an interview with psychologist and scientist Annette Cina on page 16.
A lot has happened in recent years. That's a good thing. Unfortunately, however, many things have not changed in our country. Here are three examples:

According to the Federal Statistical Office, 8.7 per cent of the permanent resident population in private households in Switzerland were affected by income poverty in 2019. This corresponds to around 735,00 people. After a temporary decline, poverty in Switzerland has been on the rise again since 2014 (6.7 per cent). What does this do to the children affected? The constant deprivation, the realisation that they don't get many things, can't do many things and don't belong, results in poorly developing self-esteem. The effects are fatal, both for the child and for society. Investing money in overcoming poverty and in education, specifically supporting children from precarious backgrounds, is an intelligent investment. Intelligent because the investment pays off economically in the form of a return on education.

One child in every school class in Switzerland experiences physical violence, and one in four children is affected by psychological violence. 60 per cent of parents who chastise their child describe themselves as being overwhelmed in their parenting. Ten per cent of parents who hit their children are in favour of «hitting» as a parenting method because they believe that corporal punishment is part of parenting. It is estimated that a total of 130,00 children are beaten in Switzerland. That corresponds to the population of our country's capital ...
There is no ban on corporal punishment in Switzerland. In other words, beating your child is clearly not explicitly prohibited by law. Certain political circles argue that the existing legislation is sufficient and that the laws simply have to be applied. In my opinion, however, an explicit ban on violence against children is urgently needed. And children's rights need to be strengthened.

Margrit Stamm, Director of the Swiss Education Research Institute, writes in the German Society for Applied Vocational Education and Training Research (SGAB): «It is not talent and performance that determine access to academic education, but primarily social background. That's why intellectually gifted working-class children often fail in their dream of going to university.» Margrit Stamm's dossier «Working-class children at universities! The background to their fear of advancement» has triggered a great response. We are making good progress, but there is still a lot to do.
Have you also noticed? All three of the topics just mentioned fall within the area of parental education. Informed parents promote the best possible development of their children. And this brings me to the last point of my contribution: What will be the focus of our commitment in the coming years? «Parental education for all» is the future of the Elternsein Foundation.

Mothers and fathers approach the topic of parental education differently, as they are characterised by individual behavioural patterns and approaches. This also results in different stakeholder groups, which I would like to discuss briefly below:

• Erste Gruppe: Eltern, die Elternbildung als «Hohlschuld» betrachten und sich entsprechend aktiv um ihre elterlichen Kompetenzen bemühen. 
• Zweite Gruppe: Viele Eltern haben Angst vor Elternbildung. Angst vor der Schwere der Themen und vor Überforderung, Angst, dass sie nicht mehr sich selbst sein können und vor der Akademisierung des Elternseins. Sie finden keinen Zugang zum Thema. 
• Dritte Gruppe: Viele Eltern reagieren nur dann, wenn sie ein konkretes Problem haben. Dann informieren sie sich bezüglich einer Lösung. Ist das Problem gelöst, unternehmen sie vorderhand nichts mehr. Wenn ein neues Problem auftaucht, holen sie sich wieder Rat.

It would be more advisable for parents to keep themselves continuously informed so that they are always one step ahead of their child's current stage of development. Informed parents have a more differentiated approach and do not primarily see their child as a problem, but rather as their child's development. We want all parents to experience their child as an enrichment and not as a disorder. This requires all parents to acquire the relevant knowledge, and in order to gently introduce parents in groups 2 and 3 to the topic of parental education, we need easy-to-understand, entertaining, low-threshold and immediately realisable formats. We need to pay attention to the media usage behaviour of the target groups and meet them where they are. We use these new formats to help them get started.

1. With our current «Parenting myths» campaign, we are raising awareness in the public sphere. The campaign takes the mickey out of parenting myths and primarily addresses those parents who do not primarily have parenting education on their radar, but instead handle the upbringing and care of their children on the basis of «oral tradition». Many use the same patterns that they themselves experienced as children. From a culinary point of view, «grandmother's way» can be quite digestible and tasty - but when it comes to our topic, it is better to draw on modern findings from research and science.
2. The umbrella organisation Pro Familia is supporting one of our projects, namely the development of a digital prototype that we will test within the new target groups. These are film trailers with a length of 20 to 30 seconds that make parents curious in an entertaining way and draw attention to the help we offer.
3. We are involved in an exciting development process with the Zurich University of the Arts: under the direction of Prof Dr Martin Zimper, young specialists from his team are developing ideas for us. The challenge is to present and play out our multi-layered topics in the usual high quality, in an entertaining and enjoyable way. In the recent past, a new term has emerged for such formats: edutainment.

Yes, I am firmly convinced that we are making an important contribution to society with our work, that we are working efficiently and that we have made the right decisions with regard to the development projects of the Elternsein Foundation.
Now it only remains for me to thank you, dear parents, for your loyalty, for your willingness to inform yourselves for the benefit of your children and to support us in our commitment.
I hope you enjoy reading this special issue.

Thomas Schlickenrieder is Managing Director of the Elternsein Foundation. He is the father of two grown-up children and lives with his family in the canton of Zurich.

• We are all grown up!
  20 years of Fritz+Fränzi: that's 167 issues and around 4500 texts. Click through the years and marvel at the bold covers («Störfall Kind»), provocative cover stories («Friss oder stirb») and spectacular illustrations («Mein letzter Wille»). The editorial team wishes you an entertaining journey through time.
• The first issue of Fritz+Fränzi
  To mark the 20th anniversary of Fritz+Fränzi, Stiftung Elternsein is opening its digital archive. Read the first issue of our parenting guide with the topic «Children at risk of poverty». The issue was published on 3 September 2001, had 84 pages and cost CHF 4.
• Quiz: How well do you know Fritz+Fränzi?
  As part of our 20th anniversary celebrations, we want to test you: How well do you know Fritz+Fränzi? You can win 20 annual subscriptions together with the new ElternPass!