«Our child was the victim»

Her son was bullied by his classmates for over two years. Today, the mother, who wishes to remain anonymous in the interview, would like schools and, above all, parents to intervene more quickly - before the psychological damage to the child becomes too great.

Mrs A., your son was bullied for two years. When did this start and how did you find out about it?

It started gradually in 4th grade. He didn't say much at first, but at some point he didn't want to go to school any more. Our son pretended to be ill and withdrew more and more. He also started eating out of frustration.

How was your son bullied?

At first, he was verbally bullied. There were insults directed at him, but also at me and our family. After that, there were more and more physical assaults, which always took place when no teacher was present.

«Unfortunately, the school and the school management were no help at all».

What have you done to help your son? What has the school done?

I first tried to speak to the teacher. However, she didn't want to know anything about it and wasn't interested in doing anything about it. She also said that it wasn't what our son was saying. Next, we approached the school management. However, we hit a brick wall there. They took the view that they couldn't do anything if the teacher hadn't reported it in advance. Unfortunately, the school and the school management were no help at all. On the advice of our paediatrician, our son then went to a child psychologist, which was good for him and for us. However, we had to take our son out of school at the age of 12 because nothing changed there.

What was particularly stressful for you?

The worst thing was that although we supported our son, there was nothing we could do to change this difficult situation. Our child was the victim and seemingly had no way of escaping.

«Parents should react quickly so that it doesn't get that bad».

This must have been very difficult for the whole family ...

Yes, we didn't really have a family life any more. There were only discussions and arguments and we parents simply tried to mediate from morning to night. There was no more happiness or laughter. Everyone just tried to get through the day and hoped that the next day would be better.

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This article is part of our online dossier on bullying and cyberbullying. Find out more about how bullying occurs and what you can do as a parent.

What would you like to pass on to other parents and teachers?

That you take a closer look and intervene much earlier, before the child's soul has suffered too much damage. It's important that the school doesn't just listen to the teacher. Parents should react quickly so that things don't get so bad. In any case, external help should be sought early enough.

Read more:

  • Do you always have to get involved in bullying? Bullying expert Christelle Schläpfer on bullying prevention in schools and what teachers should never do.
  • The "No Blame Approach " is an effective method for putting a lasting end to bullying in the classroom. An aid for teachers.