«One day my son will come back»

Sabine, 57, is the mother of a son who has cut off all contact with her. The mother suffers greatly - and doesn't understand how this happened. She lives in northern Switzerland. To protect her, we are not publishing her real name.

Image: Pexels

Recorded by the Fritz+Fränzi editorial team

My son is now 16 years old. Two and a half years ago, he decided to move in with my ex-husband and his new partner. At the time, he cut off all contact with me, my parents and my sister, his favourite aunt. He blocked me on social media and stopped responding to my messages. If I bump into him on the street, he puts in earplugs and walks away.

The worst thing is not knowing why. When I asked him why, he didn't answer. I think that my ex-husband and his new partner are also influencing my son in this way. They also have a lot of money and finance his expensive hobby of downhill biking - perhaps that's another reason why he made this decision. It's very difficult for me and I can't deal with it very well.

I often cry, have trouble sleeping and think about it a lot. When I think about everything I did for him and got through for him, it's particularly painful. If only I knew why, it would be easier.

Last year, when my son was still living with me, there were frequent confrontations. He slacked off a lot at school because biking was more important to him. I admonished him several times. I also told him that it was important to do an apprenticeship. But I think that was the right thing to do. For me, the sudden break in contact is as if my son has simply «switched me off». That's very hurtful.

The worst thing is not knowing why.

I also think that adults set a lot of examples for children here. There used to be a culture of argument - but today many people are no longer prepared to put up with uncomfortable situations. They prefer to break off contact. I find some support from my sister. She always tells me: «He'll come back one day.»

The self-help group that I regularly attend also helps me a little. There I see that other parents have experienced similar things - in some cases even much worse stories than mine. I'm also not giving up hope that my son will come back to me at some point or that we can have a normal relationship again.