New family feeling after the lockdown?
There was much talk of a paradigm shift and new priorities that would usher in the global coronavirus crisis in society. This also applies to the family. After the lockdown turned everyday family life upside down with working from home and homeschooling, a new kind of «normality» has now prevailed for a few weeks. A good time to ask ourselves: has the coronavirus crisis permanently changed the family construct? Or even created a new sense of family?
If you ask the research, the answer is yes. A recently published study by the German Federal Institute for Population Research (BiB) shows that many fathers are much more involved in family work than before the coronavirus crisis: their share has risen to a high 41 per cent in recent weeks. «In times of the pandemic, work was divided more equally between the sexes than before,» says Institute Director and Study Director Norbert Schneider.
Since the coronavirus crisis, we have been sharing budgetary responsibilities much more evenly.
Vera Schönenberger has also experienced this. She lives in Zurich with her partner and 10-year-old daughter. The 44-year-old is self-employed and creates content for blogs and influencers. Her partner works full-time. What has changed in her new everyday family life since the lockdown? «Since the coronavirus crisis, we've been sharing household duties much more evenly,» says Vera Schönenberger.
«Today I feel that my partner can really understand when I say «I'm knocked out» after a long day,» she adds. And emphasises: «My partner honestly believed me before the coronavirus crisis. But there's a difference between just being told that and having to do childcare, work, homeschooling and housework 24/7 for several weeks».
Fair division of labour has received an extra boost
Another recently published major German study entitled «Socio-economic factors and consequences of the spread of the coronavirus in Germany» (SOEP-CoV) also comes to the same conclusion. «Socio-economic factors and consequences of the spread of the coronavirus in Germany» (SOEP-CoV). It also shows that fathers are more involved in the household and in childcare. For Diana Baumgarten, a sociologist and gender researcher specialising in family life at the University of Basel, these are welcome developments, although none of this is entirely new: «The trend towards fathers becoming more involved in family life and household chores has existed in Switzerland for some time.» According to the scientist, it is too premature to speak of a new family feeling thanks to corona at this point in time. «Rather, I believe that men have realised more clearly during the coronavirus crisis how repetitive and exhausting family work can be.»
Even if the issue of a fair division of labour has received an extra boost due to coronavirus, it is still generally the case that women perform the greater share of unpaid care work, Baumgarten continues. Nevertheless, the lockdown experience could certainly become a basis for a more balanced division of labour in terms of family life.
Change takes time
«The coming months or years will show how sustainable a rethink in family life will be,» Diana Baumgarten is convinced. The prerequisite is that men and women now stick with it and implement the new experiences and insights in their jobs and family life: Change remains an arduous piece of ongoing work and takes time: «You can see how difficult it was to convince people to wear a mask, which is actually no big deal.»
Even if changes take time, Vera Schönenberger is already noticing the first positive after-lockdown effects on a personal level. Her conclusion: «I've become much more patient. Also with my daughter Emilie». This is a feeling that she was able to take away from the lockdown. «It's not always easy, but it always works out well». She fondly remembers the decelerated time when the streets of Zurich were almost empty: «We travelled a lot by bike. My daughter learnt how to cycle more safely in the city». For Vera Schönenberger, one thing is clear: "I want to continue in this mode.
Working more from home in the future too
Andrea Duttweiler doesn't want to go back to the old hamster wheel either. The 44-year-old mother of an 8-year-old primary school pupil works as a copywriter in a communications agency and lives in Zurich with her partner, a watch entrepreneur who works full-time. A realisation that she would like to put into practice in her new post-lockdown life: To divide her current 70 per cent workload in such a way that she can also work from home more in the future. «Not just for me, but also because I can see how good it is for my daughter Romy when I'm around more, when everyday life is slower.» She really enjoyed not having to go to after-school care, being able to eat at home or generally spending a lot of time with mum and dad.
«After the lockdown, Romy made a noticeable leap in her development. She has become more mature, more self-confident - even at school she has suddenly opened up». One reason, in addition to the closeness to her parents, is that life was more carefree despite coronavirus: «There was no more of the busy day that every working mum knows,» says Andrea Duttweiler. It didn't matter whether lunch was on the table at noon or half past one. «These fixed structures and the total organisation that usually got me through the day suddenly felt like a tight corset. It would be nice if life could be a little more relaxed and spontaneous.»
Always at home due to the coronavirus crisis: positive effect on parent-child bonding
During the lockdown, there was much discussion about the centres of conflict and the breaking points that became apparent in the family. But there is also the other side: «In extreme situations, not only do conflicts break out, but something new can emerge in the relationship with the child,» says Moritz Daum, a developmental psychologist at the University of Zurich.
Many fathers working from home were able to build a closer bond with their children.
He has seen many parents who have (had to) get creative and become involved in everyday family life in a new way. «Children were able to experience mum and dad more intensively and in many cases get to know new facets,» says Daum. Moritz Daum can imagine a very positive effect of the coronavirus-induced closeness, especially for anxious children: «Parents were able to respond more quickly to the child's needs, which creates a feeling of being taken care of in the child.» This is a decisive factor for parent-child bonding and a child's self-confidence, continues Daum.
However, Daum vehemently rejects this as a call for working mothers to spend more time at home. On the contrary, men are also called upon: «Many fathers working from home have been able to develop a more intensive bond with their children, also with more understanding for their needs». However, he also believes that it would be naïve to assume that only more working from home will lead to a better work-life balance. «If you have to work at home and look after the children at the same time, both can suffer».
An argument that cannot be dismissed out of hand. Nevertheless, the time that parents save by not having to travel to work creates more freedom and reduces stress. The coronavirus crisis could therefore certainly lead to a shift in priorities in family life - provided that mothers and fathers manage to organise their jobs more flexibly. This is also emphasised by the BiB study cited above: «It can be assumed that the experiences during the lockdown will lead to a new balance of presence and absence at work in the long term,» says Norbert F. Schneider, head of the study. In other words, working from home can play a decisive role in achieving a better work-life balance.
«Working from home is certainly one of the most important points in the discussion about balancing work and family life,» says Diana Baumgarten. According to the family sociologist, a better situation for families requires different working hours and guaranteed childcare in the long term, «even when working from home» - and short commutes.
