«My parents won't let me game»

«Why don't you ask Sarah?»

I am 10 years old and have two younger siblings. My parents never let me play games. But it would be so much fun for me. How can I get my parents to let me do it?
Michi, 10 years old

Dear Michi
You are your parents' eldest child. That's a wonderful thing, because the first-born child is something very special for all parents, because they didn't have any children before and were able to get to know the world of family life together with you. However, the problem is sometimes that as the first-born you have to fight for things that your siblings are then allowed to do much more quickly.

The addictive factor of gaming

But I think you have very good parents! You should be happy about that. Because they care about you and are not indifferent to how you spend your time. Unfortunately, there are some things in the virtual world of games that would not be particularly good for your development: for example, violent games and many elements that make young people addicted.

Some games are designed in such a way that you have to play on and on in order to progress from level to level. Of course, this is great fun and the sense of achievement triggers feelings of happiness. But there is a risk behind this: the addictive factor.

In this day and age, it's normal for a bright boy like you to want to play on these devices.

I now know a few boys aged around 15 who have become so addicted to gaming that they play on their PCs until four in the morning instead of sleeping. In the morning, they regularly oversleep or are simply not fit enough to get up and go to school. You can imagine that their school grades will soon plummet. That causes really big problems: How are these young people supposed to be able to do vocational training or an apprenticeship?

I'm sure you don't want to become addicted and haven't thought that far ahead. But your parents are aware that there is a risk with gaming that something like this could happen to you. All the more reason for them to look out for you to prevent it.

Nevertheless, we live in a time in which computers and the like have become indispensable. You children are growing up with them and have to learn how to use them. In this day and age, it's completely normal for a bright youngster like you to want to play with these devices.

So I suggest that you ask your parents for a chat. Tell them that it's about gaming and that you would like to make a suggestion: As you are now 10 years old and at the beginning of puberty, it is important for you to learn at least a little about gaming.

Positive aspects of the game

Tell them that you are open to the type of game. It doesn't have to involve violence. Because there are games that are based on sports or Lego, for example. Or games in which you create worlds, build houses or compete in car races. Some can also be played as a whole family. Explain to your parents that you can train fitness, dexterity and concentration, creativity and organisational skills.

Let your parents determine the time and duration of play and accept this.

Now there will certainly be two more topics: Money and time. The games often cost something or you have to buy a Playstation. Perhaps you have saved up your pocket money and can contribute something? Or you could offer to help your parents around the house or in the garden.

Let your parents determine the time and duration of play and accept this. Most parents get very annoyed when their child always makes a fuss when it's time to stop. Many children whinge in the hope of being allowed to play longer.

Please try to imagine the following: Your sibling is allowed to play with one of your toys. And when you want it back, it won't give it back or screams and runs around. What would that be like for you? You see: Your parents would feel the same way if you didn't keep to the permitted playtime.

So explain to your parents that you have thought about all this. And suggest that you put the most important points in writing. If you and your parents agree to everything, you can sign this agreement. Now it's up to you to show that you are sensible and big enough to stick to the agreements.

Good luck!