«My happiness is the most important thing to my parents»

Through my training as an after-school childcare specialist, I often think about being a role model. I reflect on what my parents have modelled and passed on to me and what is important to me when dealing with the children.

A core value in our family is unrestricted trust. I never abused it, for example, I didn't lie when I came home with bad grades or anything else that went wrong at school. My parents supported me when I was choosing a career.

It always goes on. Even if things don't go well or you make mistakes. That's what my mum showed me.

It was good that I was able to share all my concerns and visions with my mum, she was also very honest with me and told me that her life was not without detours. She made no secret of the fact that she had once cancelled an apprenticeship. It was helpful to hear that. It made me understand: Okay, that's not so bad. You can keep going, even if things aren't going so well. Or you make mistakes. My mum set an example for me: nobody is perfect.

For me, trust also means that she doesn't control me, for example with my homework. She said I'm here if you need help or support, you can come to me at any time. Trust also means that I can go out for as long as I want. It's important to my mum that she knows where I am, that I'm not alone. It's not about control, but about my safety. My mum is a role model for me because she shows me how to «be myself», with all my rough edges.

It's nice that my parents shared the family work. I always knew that they could both do both. If I were to have a family later on, that would also be important to me. But I would also do things differently. There are certain irritating topics that my mum reacts (too) sensitively to - for example, criticising the food she has cooked for us. Then she gets harsh and, above all, loud and glares at me with evil eyes. I would do things differently and try to regulate my emotions better.
I myself was never forced into any roles or put under pressure. I was free to decide what I wanted - and was supported in doing so because my personal happiness is the most important thing to my parents.

Read more about role models:

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