Our son, 8, was taught about death at primary school - they even visited a cemetery. Now he is very upset and wants to know what happens after death. We would like to comfort him, but we are not believers. What should we tell him? Ruth, 37, and Hannes, 39, Reinach
This is what our experts say:
Nicole Althaus: The truth: that you don't know. That nobody knows, but many people believe that death is not just the end, but also a beginning. A beginning of life in the afterlife, for example, or as a reborn ant on earth. But you know one thing for sure: The people who mean something to us live on in our memories after death. And that is the greatest consolation.
Tonia von Gunten: Most parents suppress the topic of death and find it difficult to talk to their children about dying. Many associate thoughts of death with fear, pain, loss, grief and their own end. Personally, I have been close to death twice and don't believe in life after death. Talk to your son about your own difficult feelings; they are part of life. This can help your son to deal with his fears.
Peter Schneider: Teachers' furore about the last things can sometimes be a real «pain in the arse» for parents. But no amount of pressurising and talking around will help. You tell him what you yourself believe: that death is the end of life and nothing happens afterwards. Except for the people who miss the deceased and who mourn him and keep him in their thoughts.
The authors:
Nicole Althaus, 47, is a columnist, author and member of the editorial board of "NZZ am Sonntag". She was previously editor-in-chief of "wir eltern" and initiated and managed the mum blog on "Tagesanzeiger.ch". Nicole Althaus is the mother of two children, 15 and 11.
Tonia von Gunten, 42, is a parenting coach, educator and author. She runs elternpower.ch, a programme that aims to bring fresh energy into families and strengthen parents in their relationship skills. Tonia von Gunten is married and the mother of two children, 9 and 6.
Peter Schneider works as a psychoanalyst and columnist in Zurich. Until 2017, he was Professor of Developmental and Educational Psychology in Bremen; he currently teaches the history and scientific theory of psychoanalysis in Berlin.
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This text was originally published in German and was automatically translated using artificial intelligence. Please let us know if the text is incorrect or misleading: feedback@fritzundfraenzi.ch