«Mr Gross, when does a child know whether it's a boy or a girl?»
Mr Gross, trans people oppose the fact that transgender people are seen as a mental disorder. Do those affected need to be treated at all?
A trans child or trans adolescent does not need psychiatric or psychotherapeutic treatment per se. By no means all gender-variant children suffer from psychological or social problems: I meet trans children who can live their gender variance effortlessly. However, for those who suffer from this, psychotherapeutic treatment can be helpful.
What secondary problems do these children suffer from?
These can be adjustment difficulties, problems at school, depressive moods, anxiety or even suicidal tendencies. These subsequent problems are greatest in cases where they encounter rejection. In a new Australian study, two out of three teenagers and young adults stated that they received no support from their family - and three out of four said they suffered from depression.
How do you perceive the parents who come to you?
They are often the ones looking for care or support, not the children. They come with questions such as: Should we allow a trans girl to go to nursery with her skirt on?
What is your answer?
The question is: How much does the child suffer if it is not allowed to do this? But then the question is also important: how much support does the environment provide? There are cases in which a transition is not advisable because the environment does not fulfil the requirements or it would even be dangerous. Last but not least, there is the question of where the parents stand: The path must also be feasible for them.
When does a child become aware of its gender?
A two-year-old child is already able to distinguish between male and female. However, they are not yet aware of their own gender identity. A five to six-year-old child, on the other hand, has already developed consistency in this area: They clearly know whether they are a boy or a girl.
«If a child has identified with the opposite sex for a long time, it is more likely that this experience will be permanent.»
Patrick Gross, transgender expert
Can identification with the opposite sex be just a phase?
I often hear the concern that it's just a phase. In fact, this feeling does not last into adulthood for all trans children. But the longer a child has identified with the opposite sex, the more likely it is that this experience will be permanent. And whether it is a phase or not, the mental and physical health of the trans child depends largely on whether they are listened to and taken seriously and whether they experience support, love and empathy from their parents.
What do you say to parents who ask you to treat their child?
That I don't do that. Because it's simply not possible. And also because it would be unethical to even try.
Is there no way to influence the child's understanding of gender?
As parents, we can influence the shaping of male and female roles. But the basic feeling of which gender you belong to cannot be influenced by education or therapy.
Where does this basic feeling come from?
There are various studies that have investigated biological, psychological and social factors. None of them were able to explain it sufficiently. Transidentity is often said to have a «biopsychosocial» genesis. Which here is a synonym for: We don't know.
What is typically male and typically female?
In my work, I have learnt that what I perceive as gender expression in my counterpart does not necessarily have to correspond to his or her gender identity. And I realised how difficult it is for me as a cis person to explain my manhood to someone without using stereotypes or referring to physical characteristics.
Read more:
- Lukas is now Lea!The story of two children stuck in the wrong body