«Look, here comes the fat one»

Personal narrative

School was a dark time for Tamara, 18, who was the target of bullying attacks at an early age that robbed her of any joy in life.

"Bullying characterised my entire childhood. I was overweight and had a learning disability, I was different from the others. It started in third grade, the instigators were a few boys, soon the whole class joined in. My attackers would often pass me on the way to school. It got really bad in middle school. We were a mixed-age class of fourth to sixth graders. Three girls stood by me, the rest failed me. When I spoke up in class, everyone laughed. Then came the worst moment: a girl found out that I had a crush on a boy in the class. The boy turned to me in front of the whole class: I was not only ugly, but also stupid - did I really think I had a chance with him? My parents tried to talk to the teacher several times. He played down the bullying. What he dismissed as children's quarrels robbed me of sleep. I woke up crying and had panic attacks.

«The bullying experiences taught me that in the end I have to be enough for myself alone.»

There was a breather in sixth grade, I was now one of the oldest children in the class. The insomnia continued. Then I started secondary school and the class was reorganised. There were two outsiders: an emo girl and me. My weight was the hot topic again: look, here comes the fat girl. I kept quiet wherever possible, reluctant to get up from my seat. Then something amazing happened: a girl from the class whose friend had changed schools sought contact with me. Anna was respectable: slim, pretty, direct. I didn't trust her at first, but she persisted. The friendship with Anna was something new for me: Anna even defended me. She was also the one who took me to a counselling centre because I was so devastated that I was thinking about suicide. I had zero self-esteem, didn't know who I was and where I wanted to go.

A lot of time has passed since then: Today, I'm in my second year of my apprenticeship as a disabled care specialist and I'm doing very well. I feel very appreciated. My time at school was a dark chapter for me. If the bullying I experienced taught me one thing, it was that in the end, I alone had to be enough. I stopped seeing myself through the eyes of others. Not only that: I actually like myself."

Dieser Artikel gehört zum
This article is part of the online dossier Bullying Read more about questions such as: How do children become perpetrators, why do they become victims? And what can parents and teachers do?
Dieser Text stammt aus dem Juniheft 2020.
This text is from the June 2020 issue. You can order the entire issue as a single copy here.
Wer hatte auch schon mal mit Mobbing zu kämpfen? Wir sammeln Ihre Erlebnisse, gerne auch anonym.
Who has ever had to deal with bullying? We collect your experiences, anonymously if you like.
online@fritzundfraenzi.ch

Read more about bullying:

  • «I got you a rope»
    Exclusion, beatings, cyberbullying: Anna, 16, has experienced it first-hand. She urgently advises victims to break their silence.
  • «I was an easy victim»
    Benjamin, 12, was well integrated in his class until a leader turned everyone against him. At some point, the only thing that helped was changing schools.
  • «We were left alone»
    When their daughter Anna, 16, became a victim of cyberbullying, Christine and René had the school management on their side - until the parents of the bullies got involved.
  • Harassment on the net
    Cyberbullying is not a trivial offence, but can be prosecuted under criminal law. What should parents do if their child is being cyberbullied?
  • How do children become victims or perpetrators of bullying?
    Françoise Alsaker, pioneer of bullying research in Switzerland, on myths and facts: How do children become victims or perpetrators of bullying? And what do parental home, social status or gender roles have to do with it?
  • No Blame Approach: A guide for teachers
    The «No Blame Approach» is an effective method for putting a lasting end to bullying among pupils. It does not apportion blame, even in serious cases. A concrete aid for teachers.
  • Bullying: all against one
    When children put others down, often nothing happens until an emergency arises. However, research makes it clear that if you want to combat bullying effectively, you have to intervene before it starts. Social interaction only works where those involved are constantly working on it. What does this mean for schools, teachers and parents?
  • The «bullying glasses» - an aid for teachers
    Bullying experts and authors Heike Blum and Detlef Beck have developed a tool that can help teachers to detect bullying: the bullying glasses.
  • How bullying arises
    Insulted, humiliated, laughed at: bullying causes great suffering to children. Whether it takes place on social media or in the classroom. But how can it happen in the first place? And what role do classmates and teachers play?
  • #nomobbing campaign at Glatt: «Ouch, that hurt!»
    Mobile phones that translate bullying into electric shocks, a Youtuber who talks openly about how she became a victim of bullying and lots of good conversations about bullying with professionals. All this is happening right now at the Glatt shopping centre in Wallisellen. And you can drop by.
  • How do I recognise bullying?
    There are no signs that indicate bullying with certainty. However, parents and professionals should take a closer look if they notice several of the following signs.