Learning in extraordinary times
Parents have to juggle a lot of things. And now the COVID-19 pandemic has added a real high-wire act. It can be really overwhelming to have to help the children with distance learning on top of all the other tasks. But I hope that these easy-to-remember tips will take some of the pressure off. Although I am a developmental psychologist and study children's stress response and self-regulation, I too struggled to support my five and eight-year-old children when schools closed in spring 2020.
Like many other parents, I bookmarked articles and links to learning activities that only added to my sense of overwhelm. What I really needed was a fridge door leaflet that listed simple science-based tips on a single page that would make our family life easier, not harder. When I expressed my desire to the administrator at the local school, she encouraged me to create one myself. You can download the fact sheet here, but be sure to read some of the key points in this article first.
Children blossom when they know what is expected of them.
It is unrealistic to expect parents to have the time or the means to take on the role of teachers for their children on a temporary basis. However, with a few simple measures, they can ensure that their children successfully complete the tasks set by the teachers.
Children thrive when they know what is expected of them (including the time, place and duration of tasks). It is therefore important to have a reliable daily routine and a fixed quiet place to study. Timetables and expectations should be flexible and discussed regularly so that everyone's needs are taken into account. Remember that younger children, who are not yet able to concentrate for as long, need more breaks.
Some children will unlearn some skills and behaviours during this challenging time. However, you should focus more on progress and worry less about specific achievements.
The situation is stressful for everyone involved and the stress can ultimately affect our relationships and our well-being. To help children learn to understand their worries and frustrations, parents can help them to name their feelings and what triggers them. When these feelings become too much, both adults and children benefit from taking a deep breath or closing their eyes and counting to ten. This helps to minimise the body's stress response. This puts us in a better position to discuss possible solutions.
Emphasise positive experiences
Reinforcing positive feelings can also reduce stress. If you give your children the opportunity to be truly helpful and independent, you support their self-efficacy and self-confidence. This is especially important when many problems arise that are out of their control.
A happy ritual together in the morning (e.g. a special greeting, a song, a funny dance, a story, jokes) as well as emphasising positive experiences at the end of the day strengthen the feeling of joy and togetherness. Parents should also remember to take breaks themselves. Refuel, treat yourself, ask for help. If you look after your own wellbeing, you will also be better able to support your children.
In times of overlapping crises, it is sometimes difficult to think of even simple care strategies.
These tips are not new and they are certainly not a panacea. But in times of overlapping crises, it is sometimes difficult to think of even simple care strategies.
This fact sheet may not work immediately or for every family, but it provides a starting point. The best thing about being a carer is that every day is an opportunity for a fresh start.
