Kindergarten children and media: 6 questions and answers
1. may the mobile phone be used as a time filler?
«I'm on the tram with my daughter, 4, and a mum friend. During the journey, her son, who is the same age, is looking at family photos and videos on his mother's mobile phone. He was so busy that he didn't say a word to us. Since then, my daughter has always asked for my mobile phone on the tram. Should you give a child a mobile phone as a time filler?»
Eveline Hipeli answers:
As a general rule, the younger the child, the less important digital devices should be. For children under the age of 10, they should only play a minor role in everyday life. Children have different needs at this age.
In the situation described in the tram, I wouldn't have given the boy a mobile phone to distract him, as there was another child with him. Even if it is exhausting, parents should make sure that the competition is more interesting than the mobile phone. Looking out of the window or playing «I see something you don't see», for example. Children on the tram should interact with each other. And not just stare at a mobile phone on their own.
2. at a party with children: a feature film as a babysitter
«At a brunch with friends, the children were allowed to watch a Pixar film (FSK 0). The other parents were chatting at the table. Our children (3 and 6 years old) didn't understand the film and came to us with questions. So we ended up sitting down with them instead of eating in peace and chatting with our friends. That really annoyed us. When can children start watching longer films? And should children be allowed to watch them unaccompanied?»
Eveline Hipeli answers:
A classic case of «well-intentioned but poorly realised». The hosts should have informed the parents about the film in advance. In addition, the age rating is often misunderstood. The voluntary self-regulation of the film industry FSK says nothing about the educational suitability of a film and does not mean that children from the age of 0 should see this film. The FSK is only concerned with the legal framework. Even films labelled FSK 0 can contain «gfürchige» or misleading content that a child cannot process.
Long films are completely unsuitable for small children. Even if kindergarten children remain seated during an animated film, this does not mean that they have understood and processed everything. The younger the child, the more important it is for an adult to watch the film and be on hand to answer any questions. Children of advanced primary school age can watch longer films selected by parents alone or with friends - and decode them in a completely different way.
3. television with the childminder
«We look after each other's children as informal childminders in the neighbourhood. My daughter, 5, goes to a friend once a week. She has an older sister who is allowed to watch TV regularly. My daughter is only too happy to join in. I don't really want to, but because I'm dependent on this supervision, I keep quiet. Is that wise?»
Eveline Hipeli answers:
My advice is to definitely broach the subject of TV. Be aware that different rules may apply in other households. Perhaps the older sister can watch her programme in another room so that the younger girls can play something else without distraction? Otherwise, there is the option of going to the library together with the three children and borrowing an age-appropriate DVD.
4. a birthday party at the cinema for five-year-olds?
«A colleague from the big kindergarten invites my son (who is a year younger) to a birthday party at the cinema. They are showing the latest Disney film. Our son has never been to the cinema before and it was planned that I would take him there for the first time. Can I deny him the birthday party for this reason?»
Bo Reichlin answers:
Children are emotional beings. Their brains are still maturing. This is why children react very differently to films, even within a similar age group. For example, rapid editing sequences, a dicey situation or a dangerous soundscape can trigger fears that cannot be processed on their own. In difficult scenes, it is important to signal to the child that you are there. For example, you can take them on your lap or hold their hand. The sooner you can talk about your impressions and feelings after the end of the film, the better. The first visit to the cinema should therefore not be underestimated. With this in mind, I recommend preparing the child for the experience and going to the cinema together. This is the only way parents can find out how their child reacts in the cinema and at the same time ensure that problematic media content does not have a lasting negative impact on their child.
5th mobile phone game on the playground
«Recently, my four-year-old son was playing with an unknown boy in the playground. I was looking after my younger child. Later, I saw the two boys staring at a mobile phone. My son is not allowed to play with a mobile phone at home just like that. Later, I saw that the strange boy was playing a game that I didn't think was age-appropriate. How do I explain to my child that I don't want him to look at things like that?»
Bo Reichlin answers:
Content with violence is completely unsuitable for children and can overwhelm and disturb them. Parental intervention with a clear «stop, not allowed» is unavoidable here. As parents, we have the privilege of making media content accessible to children and protecting them from problematic content. If you provide your child with good support in dealing with media at a young age, you create good conditions for them to grow up to be a media-competent person.
6 Minecraft with the cousins
«My son, 6, regularly visits his cousins (8 and 12). They both like to play Minecraft. My son usually watches, sometimes he's allowed to play. If I try to stop him, he goes wild. My sister-in-law makes zero rules for her boys, she sometimes likes to play along herself. How much game time makes sense?»
Bo Reichlin answers:
What may seem completely harmless to us adults can upset your child. One example: During the night rhythm of this game, depending on the difficulty level, aggressive monsters appear that can surprise the player. It is therefore important that you observe your child while they are playing and react accordingly if they become frightened or overwhelmed. Minecraft also requires the player to be skilful when operating the game.
The gaming experience is almost limitless, the only limit is your own creativity. Accordingly, there is a risk of spending hours or days on certain buildings. In any case, a time rule must be agreed with the child, for example in the form of a weekly budget. I recommend a maximum media usage of 20 minutes per day as a guideline for children under the age of seven. Allocating the time budget flexibly depending on the weather, appointments, etc. teaches the child how to use games independently from the outset. If they play with their cousins, the weekly budget will shrink accordingly. I would seek a dialogue with the mother, tell her about your own fears and introduce the time rules that the boy must adhere to.
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Golden rules
3-6-9-12 rule of thumb
No television under 3, no games console before 6, internet after 9 and social networks after 12.
Accompaniment is better than prohibition
Digital media are part of everyday life, and parents should actively accompany their children, seek dialogue and also set an example themselves in their use of mobile phones and the like.
Set screen times
Make an agreement with your child about how much television/gaming etc. they are allowed to watch. Clear rules provide security.