«It's not always easy for me to let go in everyday life»

Yolanda Andreoli is a socio-educational family counsellor and her husband Guido works in the insurance industry. The 53-year-old and 57-year-old have two daughters, Ladina, 16, and Chiara, 19.

Yolanda: «Letting go is a positive thing for me and has a lot to do with trust. But there are moments in everyday life when it's not easy for me. Guido and I are going away together soon. Ladina will be home alone for a fortnight and is really looking forward to it. It's a big step for me.»

Guido: «Letting go can also be scary. Something falls off, drifts away from me. As far as the children are concerned, I'm worried that I won't be able to protect them at some point. At the same time, I'm confident that they can cope with situations on their own. As parents, we always have to scrutinise ourselves. Fear, for example, can lead us to fall back on principles and become rigid. Yolanda and I then discuss how useful certain rules still are or whether we should give them a little more freedom.»

When it comes to health or safety, I find it difficult to let go.

Guido Andreoli

Yolanda: «The outcome is always an issue for us. Clear agreements give me security. As far as social media is concerned, I can let go as long as I know that things are going well at school, friendships are being maintained and they are pursuing their hobbies. I believe that letting go is easier when we trust our children to make the best possible decisions for themselves - and when we as parents feel confident that we have done a lot of things right.»

Guido: «When it comes to going out, I'm a bit more relaxed than Yolanda. But if I realise that something is not good for our daughters, then I have reservations. When it comes to health or safety, for example, I find it difficult to let go. At some point, they both stopped wanting to wear cycle helmets, and I still have a problem with that today. What really bothers me is all the mobile phone use and social media. It bothers me to see them so exposed to it.»

Better communication

Ladina: «I also realise that certain things are harmful. Then it's good to know that your parents are looking after you. In general, communication between us has become better and more trusting compared to before. I'm also much more confident today to stand up for my opinion to my parents.»

I share my mobile phone location with my parents without feeling that they are watching me.

Chiara, 19

Chiara: «There used to be times when I wished my parents would let go of me more. But in hindsight, that was a good thing and we were always able to talk to each other. Being able to tell my parents the truth helped me a lot. I haven't had the feeling of not having any freedom for a long time. I also share my mobile phone location with my parents without feeling like they're watching me. In contrast, I have female colleagues who have moved out because they still had to stick to mobile phone times when they were 19.»

Yolanda: «When Chiara and Ladina move out at some point, it would be very important to me to be able to keep certain rituals. For example, the delicious Sunday evening meal at the beautifully decorated table. I'd love to eat together, talk and simply enjoy each other's company when they come to visit.»

Guido: «I'm relaxed about them moving out. I am confident that they will enjoy coming to us, and not just out of a sense of duty. That we'll have good conversations and have fun. For me, that has a lot to do with a relationship.»