Isolated at home for weeks - what helps?
We don't have corona yet - and no, we're not panicking about it either! However, our three children, who are 9, 12 and 15 years old, were at home with a cold for the whole of last week. What other families are only just starting to experience has therefore been a reality for us for some time. How do you get through the exceptional coronavirus situation with homeschooling and working from home? Here are our 10 commandments.
You can't keep all the balls in the air!
When the children stay at home, we have to admit to ourselves as parents: We have another full-time job, a considerable additional burden. Everything is suddenly very different than usual, which unsettles our children. Not only do they need to be kept busy and looked after, they also need opportunities to talk to us, to explore and share their feelings. They need mum and dad with as much attention, inner and outer calm as we can give them now.
It helps us parents if we, like the government, declare a state of emergency and realise that «business as usual» is neither possible nor sensible. Simply trying to carry on as normal drives everyone into overload. Our new task becomes feasible and even feels nice and harmonious if we take enough time for it. When we are fully present and attentive instead of constantly having one eye and ear glued to our smartphone.
Prioritise and omit!
What do we really need to ensure? That the children are doing well, our dog has his walks, the house isn't in total chaos and we all get enough food and sleep. That we're doing our job reasonably well so that we're not threatened with a warning letter. Everything else can wait. We simply don't have the energy right now to complete every «extra project» at work, in the house or garden. The sooner we admit this to ourselves, boldly go through our to-do lists with a red pen, cancel, extend deadlines, get help or lower our expectations, the better we will cope.
Maintain cherished family rituals!
Cuddling in the parents' bed in the morning, reading aloud in peace in the evening. Baking cakes together on Saturdays and making a fire in the fireplace on Sundays. Decorating for Easter and looking in the garden every day to see what's growing. Enjoying couple time on Saturday evenings while the children watch a film. There are so many small and large rituals that keep our family together - and keep us going during times of crisis and illness! Fortunately, our children are very careful to make sure that none of them are neglected, even if we forget them in the stress.
Maintain familiar daily structures!
Simply living out the day, slobbing around in pyjamas or jogging bottoms until the evening, doing everything somehow or procrastinating - that's what we enjoy doing on holiday. When it comes to coping with everyday life, it drives us crazy. Continuing to shower, get dressed, eat, work, manage the household and play together as usual gives us structure and stability. Of course, we can be more flexible in exceptional times and leave room for the unexpected. But if everyone knows what the day holds for them, everyone feels more at ease.
Define work plans and project locations!
They are slowly trickling in from school, the sheets of paper, exercise books and books for revision. Every morning, we look through the children's schoolwork with them and draw up a list for everyone to complete. We make sure that they have all the necessary materials together and choose activities for the breaks: Audio games, colouring books, games, a task in the garden ... For the whole family, there is a daily schedule with times when we parents are there for the children or concentrate on work, telephone / Skype appointments and tasks.
As in the Montessori schools, it has also proved useful for us to have places ready for different, independent activities: We pile new books on the sofa table, each child has their own workstation at one end of the dining table, we pick out fabric, colours or beads for the craft corner, there are shovels and seeds in the garden ... and everyone can just get started there.
Write down free lists!
Staying at home, being limited in what we can do, can certainly be fun. If we see it as an opportunity, as time gained in which we can devote ourselves with greater peace of mind to things we wouldn't otherwise be able to do. «What would you enjoy doing here now?» we asked our children. They really got going and burst out with interests («read about rabbits»), creative projects («crochet an egg cup for Daddy») and other ideas («call Grandma in peace», «plant herbs» or «teach Sunny dog a new trick»). Looking forward to something, being able to look at the list when bored, lifts everyone's spirits.
Take time for yourself!
Especially when everyone is at home, everyone needs to retreat. For the coming weeks, we have agreed with the children on quiet reading times, a lunch break in the room and bedtimes that are not too late. Each parent will have the bedroom to themselves or go for a walk outside. We'd rather all retire on time than get cabin fever! Doing something good for ourselves, being kind and compassionate to ourselves strengthens us.
Use books and media sensibly!
Fortunately, our children love books in every form: Audio books, books to read by themselves, reading a book together with us or being read to. We've even got Grandma and Grandad involved and have them read to us over the phone. New books come from the mail order service, the online library from the e-reader or simply from the siblings' shelves. When they have had enough of reading, we now deliberately give the children a slightly wider scope for other media. No, there is no carte blanche for television and gaming. But discovering nice films or creative games together on the tablet or console takes the pressure off for everyone.
Food is food for the nerves!
Grandma already knew it and she was right: fresh, tasty, healthy food keeps body and soul together. Now is the time to dig out your favourite recipes and make them with the children. They love cooking and baking with us. They can manage simple meals, scrambled eggs with salad or pancakes on their own and take the pressure off us. Mixing, kneading, rising, shaping, decorating and baking a yeast dough - that's an afternoon-filling programme! For me, what we do in the kitchen is often the only visible, fragrant and satisfying result of long days at home ... and meals together are a ray of hope!
Humour helps!
Honestly, no matter how well we organise ourselves, how attentively and lovingly we treat ourselves and the children, we find meaning in what we do: Getting out less than we want to for weeks on end, rearranging all our activities, constantly reacting to the unexpected - it's incredibly exhausting. Funny films, silly jokes, comic books and tickle sessions help against this. As long as we laugh together, find the funny in the annoying, don't take ourselves too seriously and can have fun with everything that goes wrong, we recharge our batteries again and again. Humour makes difficult things easier and strengthens our immune system, both mentally and physically.
And what if the coronavirus really does hit family members? Then we shut down completely. Then the most important thing is to be able to recover in peace. Sick children and parents need to relax, they don't have to continue working from bed - there will be time for that when they have recovered and have the strength to do small tasks again. But for now we are healthy at home, happy about it and trying to make the best of it. All together, as a family, we can manage.
Read more about corona:
- Television instead of school - how broadcasters are changing their programmes
News, series, educational videos: Many TV channels and online platforms have massively expanded their programmes during the coronavirus crisis. An overview.
- Learning in a state of emergency
What does everyday school life look like without school? How can and should parents support their children at school? Ten answers to the ten most pressing questions.
- Learning at home with children
Our columnist and learning expert Fabian Grolimund is also at home with his children and has to switch to homeschooling. Read this article to find out how he does it.