«I'll never learn to swim because of the stupid coronavirus!»

What is Corona actually doing to our children? What are they missing out on when sport, music lessons and parties are cancelled? What effect do the masked people have on them?
These questions have been on most parents' minds for months. There are many answers, but there is no right or wrong answer. Experts reassure us that children can cope with the pandemic, resilience, you name it! Others emphasise the risk to vulnerable children in times of crisis, while full psychiatric clinics for young people add to the worries. Perhaps not worries about their own children, but about children as part of our society as such.

My children are just under five and seven years old. A good age, in my opinion, for the current situation. They generally like being with us parents and enjoy the fact that we spend so much time together as a family. They like going to school and nursery where they have contact with other children and get valuable food for thought and ideas for games from the teachers. You can also discuss things with them, they understand a child-friendly translation of Corona and can express their concerns and opinions.

«I don't think this corona will ever go away.»

Just such a statement made me think yesterday. One son complained and said: «Mum! I'll never learn to swim because of this stupid corona!» And his brother added: «I don't think this corona will ever go away.» I swallowed empty for a moment and then explained that they would certainly learn to swim. At some point. And that corona will probably be with us for a while longer, yes, but that we will learn to deal with it better and better and that it will restrict us less and less.
I can't get these two sentences out of my head. It's the first time that my children have complained about corona, that they consciously see a disadvantage for themselves in the current situation. I realise that this is normal and that I should take it as a grateful impetus to talk to them about their worries and put them in perspective. And yet it made me sad.
It feels like my life has been on standby for almost a year, with the exception of the summer. It feels like my radius is limited to a few playgrounds, our flat and the home office in the attic upstairs. I joked to my friends that I would stay 39 until I was allowed to celebrate my 40th properly. A year in my life is a few months on standby, a few months of restricted everyday life, nothing tragic. But what is a year of corona in a child's life? How bad is a missed birthday party for a six-year-old? How fun and supportive would cosy playdates in different children's rooms be? I have a feeling that the answers won't be as harmlessly «pause-heavy» as mine.
Of course, I think in luxury. We are all healthy and happy. And yet such thoughts are also allowed to have their space, detached from the pause button.

Corona-cool? Corona-argh!

I pick up the topic again at dinner. My daughter, who is almost seven, wants to know if she thinks it's funny that all the teachers at school are now wearing masks. «Eh, no!» She quickly got used to it, she says. And then immediately asks if I can give her another mask for the next bus journey. My explanation that she doesn't need to wear one at the age of seven is ignored. «You know, Mummy, it's safer that way.»
The boys don't want to wear a mask themselves, but the missed swimming course is off the table for the time being when I suggest that they take their goggles with them the next time they take a dip in the bath. «Cool, Mummy, Corona-cool!» shouts one of them through the kitchen. The day ends well (and freshly bathed).
I don't think anyone thinks it's cool at the moment, but the brief problem-solving session is good for me personally. Yes, my children are missing out on some things they might have done without corona. But I can explain it to them clearly and they are usually enthusiastic about alternatives. And wouldn't they miss out on all the time with us, the afternoons in the forest, the new rituals and so on? Who sets the value on missing out?
I decide: Missing out is stupid. The only thing I don't want is for life to miss out on taking a break at some point. Until then, we do dry runs with our chests on the parlour floor. Works quite well!

You've read my thoughts, I'm interested in yours: Do you feel like you and your children are missing out on something? If so, what? And how do you deal with it?

Read more about corona:

• Books about corona for children and young people
  How do I explain to my child what the coronavirus is doing to all of us? Fortunately, there are inspiring and encouraging books to help children and young people through this challenging time.
• Families in everyday Corona life worldwide: What is the situation in Australia, China or England? You can read all the family portraits published so far here: Families and Corona worldwide.
  
• You can find all relevant topics relating to the coronavirus for families in our coronavirus dossier .